Playing with Fire
by RayeWilliams
Summary: Wammy's isn't as peaceful as it appears. Behind the indifference is fear. Behind the kindness is bloodlust. And what appears to be strength is insanity, a shattered, broken childhood memory. MxN. Rated for sex, violence, torture, rape, murder...ON HIATUS.
1. Boredom

Bear with me. This is a combined work (Though I had these guys on a short leash. -smug-). My friends Skelly (Mello) and Matt helped by being their respective characters in the role-play. I made slight variations to it so it would work as a story.

Couple warnings:

1: The plot is slightly cliché at first, but overall very tremultuous and twisted. This could easily have been labeled as Romance/Angst/Drama/Hurt/Comfort/Friendship/Suspense/Horror, but I thought I'd make it easier.

2: It takes place at Wammy's House in October. It's hot, but winter is approaching. Near is 13. Matt and Mello are 14. Lawliet is still alive.

3: It is YAOI. Pairings are MelloxNear and VERY slight MattxMello (one-sided).

4: Story is R-18 for graphic violence, strong sexual content, rape, torture, gore, and profanity.

5: They all have highly out-of-character moments...because they all go insane. Overall, they're pretty IC.

6: Several concepts are based off of real-life experiences, such as my current addiction to puzzles (Near was originally going to be playing with dominos but I stuck with his "L" puzzle), and the real Matt's tendencies to play with fire.

Anyway, enough babbling.

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Chapter 1: Boredom

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The orphan worked quietly, clicking every piece of the puzzle into place, his hand never ceasing its movements back and forth. His dark eyes remained blank, and after a moment, he brought his fingers up from the game to entangle them in a loose lock of hair. The laughter of the boys playing soccer outside buzzed in his ears; Linda was squealing to her friends about something she'd seen two of the students doing in the library. Near pulled his left knee to his chest and went back to work.

Behind him, Matt pushed his goggles away from his eyes so they rested on his forehead, reflecting the light as an orange orb on the ceiling. Matt sighed heavily, crossing his arms and slamming his back against the wall; this movement narrowly missed Mello, who jumped back into the doorway he'd come through, irritated.

"Watch where you're going, would you?"

"Sorry, Mello," Matt grumbled. His eyes traveled to Linda, then to Near, still crouched on the floor. "I'm bored out of my skull today. Nothing's really happening and I just don't feel like studying. Ah, here we go."

The last words were punctuated by a clatter of cardboard pieces upon the wooden floor; Near held the puzzle platform before him at eye level. The last corner piece tumbled onto the pile as Linda glanced over, smiling slightly. When she looked away again, Near brushed the pile away messily to set his platform down again. As the puzzle began to click into a whole, Matt knelt briefly to swipe a piece; palming it, he stood, smirking. Near appeared not to have noticed the theft; he examined a border piece that was warped, as though it had gotten wet.

Mello pulled a frozen bar of chocolate from his pocket and ripped the wrapper off unceremoniously. His sharp eyes on Matt, he sank his teeth into the corner of the candy and snapped it from the rest. Teeth still clenched over it, he mumbled to his best friend grumpily.

"What'd you just do?"

"Stole this from him for ya," Matt replied as a quiet whisper in Mello's ear. "I'm sure you can find some use for it. He slipped the small section of Near's puzzle into Mello's free hand.

"He's probably too busy to even notice you swiped it," Mello commented, pocketing the object without looking at it; he traced his fingers along the outside distractedly. Near was working from the border in; Mello could tell this one wouldn't be missed until much later. "When he does notice, he'll go crazy looking for it. Nice."

He smirked at Matt, who grinned toothily. Mello imagined a long, red tail wagging behind him.

"I'm a genius, right? Right?" Matt nudged Mello, still grinning.

"Uh, sure, Matt; we'll go with that." Mello coughed playfully, averting his gaze. Matt rolled his eyes.

"Aw, don't be a bully."

Matt pulled a cigarette from the box in his pocket; the lighter followed. Matt put the cigarette between his lips and clicked the lighter, cupping his hand around the tiny flame and raising it to his lips.

"Matt," Near said suddenly, lifting his head. Matt jumped, and his fingers brushed over the flame. The resulting panic caused him to nearly drop his cigarette. Mello rolled his eyes, but soon turned to watch Near's back. The younger boy continued, his voice emotionless. "Please do that outside. It's not even lit yet and it already smells gross."

"You'll get used to it," Mello growled softly, biting another chunk from his chocolate bar. His gaze lingered on Near's small form, and he almost hoped Near would make an angry retort; of course, he didn't, but merely went back to his puzzle. Mello's fist clenched slightly over the piece in his pocket.

"Nah, nah, nah, Mello," Matt's voice came, snapping Mello from his thoughts. "He's right. I'm being rude." He turned to leave, his cigarette dangling from lips; he clicked the lighter again. "C'mon, let's go out and leave him to finish his puzzle."

Mello repressed a smirk.

"Much appreciated, Matt," Near murmured. He turned his head a little to watch his two classmates from the corner of one eye. "Really."

Mello sighed and pushed past Matt. They left the building without exchanging any words. Once outside, Mello glared back at the window to the common room, scanning for any sign of Near.

"Him and those damn puzzles."

Matt lit his cigarette and shook the lighter, tilting his chin upwards and staring at the sky. After a long drag, smoke escaped his lips with his next words. "What's wrong with puzzles?"

"Nothing wrong with puzzles, Matt. He just does them _all_ the _time_. I wonder how long it's gonna take him to realize he's missing a piece."

"Since he can normally do one with a thousand pieces in like an hour, and this is a five hundred-piece one…maybe fifteen minutes." He winked at Mello. "Enough time for a cigarette break."

"More than one, if you smoke fast. You can puff down five of those things in five minutes," Mello snickered. "Lung cancer'll kill ya before anything else can, I swear."

Matt shrugged, grinning. "It's Wammy's. I've yet to see anything dangerous around here to anyone. Kids barely even pick on each other. 'cept Linda, but she's a tattletale, so it's no wonder the guys hate her. But even then, they don't bug her." He cocked an eyebrow. "Got a different example?"

"I don't mean just _here_; this place is too boring for anything bad to happen. Plus, with Roger on our backs twenty-four seven, it's no wonder nothing bad happens. But in the long run, you never know."

Another shrug. "I dunno. Do you _want_ something interesting to happen? I mean, you do like fights, Mello. Why don't you just start one?"

"Yeah, I could do that, but…with who? Doing it with you wouldn't be fun, 'cause you'd know it was coming. I guess I could always do it with one of the kids who we always play soccer with, but…" He trailed off, jerking one shoulder in a lazy shrug, and tore another piece of chocolate from his bar.

Matt dropped his cigarette and stamped it into the ground. "I have an idea, but it'd probably ruin your rep. Or our friendship. You're number one between us, so you should come up with something yourself. I'm just an accessory to whatever crime you commit. So if I get shot, guilt falls on you."

"...that's _real_ reassuring, Matt. Thanks for that." He snorted in an attempt not to scoff at his playful friend. "I'll never let you get shot, then. And what idea are you talking about? You got me curious."

Matt opened his mouth to reply, but stopped when Mello's keen eyes snapped toward the common room window again. He cocked an eyebrow, and Matt followed his gaze. Near was standing, watching through the glass, one pale hand on the sill for support.

"He's watching us again. Maybe he figured out you stole his last piece?"

Matt glanced back at him. "I dunno. Think he'll fight us to get it back? Wait..." He arched a curious brow. "The hell do you mean "again," Mello?"

Mello didn't respond immediately. His blue eyes suddenly locked with Near's dark grey ones, and the air seemed to vibrate between them despite the substantial distance. Near lowered his chin in a slight nod, his eyes unblinking.

"Mello?"

"...what else does again mean? Obviously, he's done it before, and I've picked up on it, or I wouldn't be saying again." Aware of how defensive he sounded, he rolled his eyes and backed away from Matt a little bit; after a moment, both he and the common room window were in Mello's sight. "And I never thought Near would be the type to fight over a puzzle piece, but I guess you never really know someone."

"I'm not sayin' _he_ should start it." Matt's grin was sly. Near moved his hand to rest it on the doorframe and continued watching.

"...I should start it?" Mello glanced to Near for added effect to his question. Matt cocked his head. "How would I explain that to Roger, though? He's going to want some kind of reason behind his two best students fighting with each other, though he knows I hate Near."

"Well, you beat up all the other boys you hate." Matt snatched the chocolate bar from Mello's hand, bit into it, and handed it back, chewing softly. Mello snapped back to attention in time to watch Matt raise his palms questioningly, continuing. "I mean, 'ow can you star' a pfigh' if yer nah gonna jus' say "Pfelt lick it?" Yer al'wus sayin'..." He swallowed. "…that Near deserves to see how angry he manages to make people, right?"

Mello watched Near toy with his hair for a moment. The smaller boy turned away from him to lean his back against the cool glass of the window, as if thinking. Mello ran a hand through his blonde hair distractedly.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. We'll have to make sure everyone sees, though, for added fun. And if you touch my chocolate again, I'll kill you so swiftly even L couldn't find out who did it."

"Aw, I only took one bite! Augh. Okay. How big of an audience? And when?" He chuckled, as if delighted by the prospect of mischievousness. "Should we sell tickets? We gotta make this fun." He glanced at Near's back. "Just dun kill him."

Near lifted his head slightly; he glanced back at Mello and Matt from the corner of his left eye, then knelt out of sight, presumably to slowly disassemble his still-incomplete puzzle. Mello ran his tongue over the bite marks his younger friend left in the chocolate. After a moment, he bit over them and turned the small piece over in his mouth. When it started to melt, he finished the bite and sighed reprovingly. Matt watched, amused.

"Come on, Matt," Mello said finally, licking melted chocolate from his fingertips. "I'm not stupid enough to kill him. If anything, I'll do what I normally do. Either way, he's probably waiting for his puzzle piece back. And in time, Matty, he'll end up doing or saying something totally bad, something that everyone knows will make me mad."

"Near _effortlessly_ says a LOT of things to make you mad, Mello, and everyone knows it. What could he say that's bad enough to start a fight? And as for the puzzle piece..." Matt wrinkled his nose and added a slight whine to his voice. "Well, c'mon, do we HAVE to give it back?"

"True," Mello said after a short pause, "it doesn't take much from him to make me mad. As for the puzzle piece thing, we don't have to give it back. But it'll surprise him, and when he least expect it, we can strike. Make sense, yeah?"

Proud, Matt punched his arm lightly. "You're a genius. Y'know that right?"

"Of course I know it, Matt." He punched back and stepped away from tree, shoving his mostly-eaten chocolate bar in his pocket. "Before he gives up. Come on, let's go inside."

Matt glanced at the window in time to see Near getting to his feet with the box of puzzle pieces.

"Damn, he gave up. He found out too damn fast. He's too damn smart."

"Try fitting another damn in there," Mello challenged playfully, leading him into the building. They entered the common room as Near put the box back onto the game shelf. The boy hesitated, toying with a lock of white hair, staring at the other puzzles and obviously thinking. "And he's smart? Really? Wouldn't've guessed. So Matt, you're just now noticing this?" He laughed, then glanced at Near and pulled the puzzle piece from his pocket almost reluctantly. "Yo, Near. Missing something? Found this on our way out."

Near glanced up uncertainly. "Oh, Mello. Yeah." He pulled the box from the shelf again and opened it for the piece. "I kind of assumed you took it, but the probability of it just having been swept away from the rest was fair, too, so I didn't confront you. Thank you."

"Well, with the way you were flinging them right and left earlier, it's no wonder it landed there. Right, Matt?" Mello nudged his ally and they shared a grin; Mello tossed the piece back into the box.

"Yeah. Near, when you dump them out, they get everywhere. Makes it hard to walk. Kinda rude."

"Sorry," Near said, though his indifference suggested otherwise. He weaved his fingers through his hair.

"So…done with the puzzles for today?" Mello said, his tone trembling.

"Not sure if I'm done. Might go to the library and study for a bit before I come back to finish the puzzle, now that I know all the pieces are there. Since I just put it away, I don't really feel like taking it back out."

"Matt and I were about to go study, too. Wanna come? We can help each other out."

"Yeah, my teachers want me to work like five times as hard. I think they're determined to get me to the point of passing you guys score-wise...I don't really care," Matt whined. "Don't I work hard enough!?"

Near played with a lock of hair and glanced up at Matt introspectively.

"Not really...but sure, I'll come." Mello thought he seemed slightly surprised. "Mello and I have the same assignments right now anyway; it might be useful to contrast our work."

"Being third is still a decent score. Still, the teachers here wouldn't be doing their job if they didn't push you to be better." Mello nodded and crossed his arms self-approvingly. "I just hope Linda isn't in the library…last thing I need is to hear her gossiping about something someone did last night."

"She's such a pain in my ass," Matt agreed in a low grumble, pushing past the other two to walk to the library.

Near tilted his head. "Well, she's not that bad. I mean, I don't really like her, myself, but she's just a foolish girl. We can't expect much less."

Mello went after Matt, and Near trailed behind him listlessly. Mello shrugged.

"People would like her more if she didn't talk so much about other people; she's just stupid." He smiled slightly. "She does give people good blackmail material, though…heh." His chuckle was broken off by his biting into a fresh bar of chocolate.

"Y-yeah, definitely." Matt nodded rapidly, flushed. "Um. So. You guys are gonna be working on your assignments together, so maybe Mello should sit in the middle? Like, so Near can have easier access to the work too? Not that he needs it."

"It would make things easier. Good idea," Near agreed. He quickened his pace to catch up and glanced at Mello. "What did you mean "blackmail," anyway?"

"Oh, nothing Near, it's a joke," Matt said hurriedly. "Linda just has a knack of telling people the worst things about others, so it's easy to use that agai-"

"There's no one else here," Mello interrupted, shooting Matt a warning glance that was returned as a nod of gratitude. "So, anyway, assignments, what should we do first?"

He coughed meaningfully and plopped into a nearby chair. Matt sat on his right-hand side.

"Have to catch up on history, which is fine, because it's my best subject," he said. "You guys should just chat while I go over all this shi...stuff."

He opened his book and turned the pages feverishly, his head bowed as though he was trying to be inconspicuous. Mello marveled at the durability of the pages – surely this force should tear them? – but was distracted. He inhaled sharply in slight surprise as Near slipped into the chair beside him quietly. Grey eyes looked past Mello to watch Matt, and Mello averted his own eyes when Near turned his gaze onto him instead.

"What do you want to work on? I seem to have procrastinated a bit today. Have you started yet?" He pulled his left leg onto the chair and placed his hand on his knee, thinking. "And about Linda...most of the things she blabs about are just rumors. Using that against people is just spreading rumors back." He arched a brow inquisitively. "So if you're planning something, you need a better source, I think."

He opened his science book and flicked through to corners carefully, seeking the right page. Mello stared at him for a moment until Matt bumped him with an elbow.

"Agh. Um, I…I know for a fact some of the stuff she spews isn't just rumors, so…" He snorted, gathering himself. "Plus, who said I was planning anything?" He grinned innocently, which made Near cock his head, widening his right eye in utter confusion. "What kind of a person do you think I am, Near? Anyway. I haven't done much today, either, so I think it's safe to say we're both a bit behind. Better to get Science out of the way first, since it takes the longest."

Near agreed with a small nod; Mello grabbed own science book and flipped it open, resting his chin in his palm and glancing at Near's textbook for the page number. Matt looked up in an attempt to meet Mello's eyes and smirked.

"Sorry Mello. I meant no offense." Mello's eyes widened slightly at the sincerity in Near's voice, but when he turned to meet the boy's eyes, he saw the grey gaze fastened to the books. Near fiddled with a strand of white hair. "Someone really ought to tell Linda to cut out the rumor-spreading before someone...well, sees fit to abuse it." He turned a page idly. Mello turned back to Matt, smirking.

"None taken, Near. And yeah, she should. But she'll never do it." Sighing, he scanned the page. "So what's on the agenda today? I haven't had a chance to look."

"Um, here," Near replied, placing a small finger down on the bottom of a page. "He said we needed to work with acids and bases again. Like we haven't learned this already. Many times over."

"Teachers work in mysterious ways, Near. But they obviously want us to learn about them for a specific reason..." He checked Matt's book. "What are you stuck with?"

As if he'd been holding it in the entire time, Matt suddenly slammed his fists down on the book, making Near look up quickly. "Why the hell do I need to know who killed Abe Lincoln? I mean, he's already dead!"

"It's always useful to know the methods killers use, Matt," Near pointed out. "It'll help us become better detectives. L learned these things too."

"Near's right, Matt," Mello said, frowning at his friend. "It may not seem important, but in the long run, it may even help you solve a case." He shrugged his left shoulder and turned back to his science book. "Alright, acids. Joy. I doubt they're gonna ask us to cover the basics again, so obviously, they want us to dig a bit deeper."

"If you think I'll need to know this stuff, you're ON acid...more proof is that you just agreed with the albino..." Matt grumbled.

Near ignored Matt, toying with his hair. "They said we have to analyze ten things with red and blue litmus paper to find out which are acids and which aren't...we've done this before. I guess this is review. That's...kind of stupid."

Despite himself, Mello paid Near's words little attention and instead used the brief distraction to elbow Matt.

"Shut _up_!" he hissed into his ear. "Remember the plan!"

Matt fell silent, smirking, and continued taking notes. Mello coughed, turning back to Near.

"Well, I always thought our teachers never made much sense. Least it's easy, though, and we can get it done fast."

"Also true," Near said. He smiled a little. "Then we can go back to just lazing around. Though technically that's what we're doing now. This is very simple work."

Mello glanced to Matt before returning Near's grin. "Lazing around is something we do well, eh? Anyway, let's just get this over with." He flipped through the science book again. "I'm sure by the time we're done, Matt'll be dying for a cigarette break anyway."

"Damn straight," Matt growled.

"It's sad that such a smart kid is gonna die of cancer someday," Near said coolly, staring down at the assignment. "Vinegar, laundry detergent, mayonnaise...this is the same project we did two years ago..."

"No surprise." Mello leaned back in his chair and yawned. "Well, what else? I'll go get whatever we don't have for this."

Matt glanced up at Mello. "Want me to come?"

"Matt, I should go," Near reasoned. "You work on your own homework. I should help Mello with ours."

"Yes, Matt, you should work on your homework," Mello laughed. He stood, stretching with a slight groan. "We'll be back in a bit."

"Oh, sure," Matt sighed, "Leave me all alone. You guys goin' to the storage room?"

"Sounds about right," Near confirmed. He stood silently, lifting the chair so it didn't scrape the floor. He grabbed his assignment sheet and met Mello's eyes briefly. "Come on, then."

Mello cast Matt a last glance while Near headed out. Matt lowered his head just quickly enough to hide his smirk.

"Have fun," he murmured. Mello tilted his head, cocking an eyebrow curiously. When the soft rustle of Near's oversized sleeves brushing past each other made him turn again, he saw Near had waited for him in the doorway. Mello caught up with him and they walked to the storage room, each matching the other's pace.


	2. Emotionless and Empathetic

This was kind of a pointless chapter. Nothing particularly interesting happens...it's a fill-in. So chances are, if I get a review or two today, I might be more easily persuaded to update with chapter three today, also. –hinthint-

However, from here on in, it starts to get fairly dramatic. –twirls finger- Woot.

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Chapter 2: Emotionless and Empathetic

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"I can't understand why we're repeating a project we already did," Near murmured. "The results won't change. The pH balances of certain substances just don't."

"Me either. Though, they must have a reason behind it. Always do." Mello tapped his chin. "Well, at least we know what we're doing; it'll be easy to get a good score on it. Though, something must be up. They just don't assign us something we already did for no reason."

"Maybe there's an ulterior motive. Maybe we did something wrong last time and they want to see if we get it right now."

"Hn," Mello grunted. "I doubt that. Maybe they're just testing us, to make sure we didn't…forget anything? Well, whatever, guess we'll find out when we hand it in." He stopped in front of the storage door, and opened it slowly. "Okay, so now...what's on the list?"

Near watched Mello analyzingly. After a moment, he put a finger to lips thoughtfully, gazing upward at the room as he entered.

"We need laundry detergent and room-temperature vinegar...those are in here somewhere..."

Mello browsed the shelf, snatching a bottle of white wine vinegar and holding it at his hip. He peered down at the list and scoffed slightly.

"Mayonnaise? Will we even _find_ that in here? I figured that'd be in the kitchens or something." When Near glanced over his shoulder to look at Mello, the latter shook the bottle of vinegar at him. "Well, one down. Did you find the detergent?"

Near's gaze traveled to a shelf a foot above his head. Mello began to reach for it, but pulled back immediately; Near stood on his toes and stretched to grasp at the handle, nudging at it until it fell. Mello couldn't fight off his slight smirk when Near's shrouded hands clasped around the jug.

"Yes," he said unnecessarily. "We need bleach, too."

"Bleach? Top shelf, on the right." Mello handed the vinegar to Near and pulled down the heavier jug. "I'll never get why they put the heavy stuff on the top. Anyway, are we forgetting anything?"

"We need soda, mineral water, and tap water for the neutral constant, all of which we can get from the kitchen..." Near stared at the list in his crowded arms, trying to read the top part of a word covered by his sleeve. "And…alcohol."

Mello pulled the paper from Near's arms carefully, turning it over to raise an eyebrow at it.

"We also need milk, fruit or fruit juice, and Vaseline."

Distractions, distractions. Mello glanced at Near, unnerved by the sudden scheduling issues. Near didn't notice his uncertainty.

"We definitely have to make a trip down to the kitchen, then, and to the bathroom, for Vaseline and alcohol."

"And didn't we use, like…" Mello trailed off, thinking back, before glancing at the list. "No…never mind. Different project. But we need hand sanitizer, and that's the last thing. Plus we need the litmus paper."

"Sanitizer's here," Near said, stretching onto his tiptoes again. He reached up to grab it, but jerked back as though shocked. Mello cocked an eyebrow curiously as Near's confused reaction.

"What's wrong?"

"I brushed into something fuzzy."

"A mouse?"

Near shook his head. "It was cardboard. Maybe moldy." He glanced up at the tall shelf, almost regretfully. Mello watched until the younger boy gave him a slightly pleading look. "Um…"

"Yeah," Mello said, nodding. "I'll get it." He pulled down the sanitizer, then grabbed a carton of juice, carefully holding it by the bridge at the top. "Who the hell put juice in here? Good thing we noticed this before someone else…ergh, that's just gross."

Near smiled at him. "We have about a week to do this, which is less than we had last time. Let's just gather the ingredients for now and we'll test everything tomorrow."

Mello's widened eyes vanished as he turned his head, averting his gaze from Near's void-like pupils. Hair shrouded his face while he narrowed his eyes.

"Pfsht…what's with the grin?"

"Nothing," Near replied honestly, and when Mello glanced at him to check, he could see the boy's smile had vanished. Near adjusted his grip on the objects in his arms.

"Let's drop these off in my room and then go back to the library, okay? Matt might need our help with his math. He should be done with history by now."

"Fine." Mello plucked the sanitizer from Near's arms to lighten his burden and pushed back him to get to the door. Near thanked him quietly and followed, despite Mello's lack of a response.

Their attempts to leave the room failed; Linda greeted them in the doorway, smiling broadly. When the boys simply stared at her, she closed her eyes and waved.

"Hi!"

"Hi…" Near said, lowering his head slightly. Mello snorted.

"What d'you want, Linda?"

Linda frowned, opening her eyes; she brought her hand down slowly.

"Roger says for you to go to his office, Mello."

"Now?" He glanced down at Near, who shrugged without meeting his gaze. "Why?"

"Dunno, says it's urgent. I'll help Near."

"No, I'll help Near," Mello growled, stepping in front of Linda as she reached for Near's armful of items. "Roger can wait five minutes so we can drop off this sh-"

"No, Mello," Near said quietly, looking around Mello at Linda. "You go on. Linda, thank you."

She beamed at him. With a scowl, Mello dropped his things into her arms carelessly. She stumbled; he pushed past her, storming from the room and down the hall.

"What's his deal?" Linda groused, pouting and standing up straight. Near glanced at her, though his expression didn't change.

"What do you mean?"

"He's so…angry today! Well, every day."

"That's not true," Near said, his voice dull. "He's not always angry."

"Pfft!" she replied, sticking her tongue out a little. "Sure he is. He's always storming around."

"Doesn't mean he's angry."

"Aw, what do you know?" she retorted playfully, nudging him with an elbow; he moved away from her touch. "Can you read his mind?"

"No," Near replied smoothly, moving to walk past her at a leisurely pace. "But that just makes me more sure of it."

-


	3. Inconspicuous Reluctance

It starts to get a little violent in this one, but this is probably the last chapter than can be considered meek. I'm really enjoying the reviews I'm getting so far. –smiles- Just like to point out that this has only been written up to chapter six; school is fast approaching, and the RP is halting slightly. So I'm unlikely to do duplicate chapters in one day again. xD

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Chapter 3: Inconspicuous Reluctance

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Matt was sprawled over Mello's bed, letting out a small, almost inaudible hum every time his lighter clicked. Mello watched, bored, every time the flame reached out in a desperate attempt to escape the tiny implement in Matt's hand. Matt always clicked it shut again just before the fire reached his skin.

"What _are_ you doing, Matt?" Mello asked finally, snapping a piece of chocolate from the rest of the bar and tossing it to him.

"Burning time," Matt replied, catching the snack gratefully and gnawing the edge. "Roger wants to see both of us in like an hour. I hate going to his office. He never wants anything much from us.

"He might be concerned about your newfound obsession with fire," Mello chuckled.

"Or about how you've been starting to be nicer to Near," Matt retorted playfully. Mello nearly choked on his candy.

"I…what!?"

"Well, you have. When was the last practical joke we played on him, hm?"

Mello had no response. After a moment, Matt stretched his leg out so he could bump his boot against Mello's ankle gently.

"Whatever I just inspired you to do, I want to help."

Mello smiled a little.

"No, you're right, that's all. Just…trying to make up for lost time." He rested his head against the wall, thinking. "We need something good."

"Don't think too hard. I vote we just scare the shit out of him. Maybe torture him a bit."

"What did you have in mind?" Mello asked him, widening his left eye out of curiosity.

"I dunno, just make him seethe for awhile."

"You play too many games," Mello complained, sinking to the ground and thinking hard. "So what do you suggest we do, tie him up and lock him in my room for an hour under the premise of torturing him when we get back? What an idea…"

Matt looked up from his activities with the lighter, grinning suddenly. Mello needed only to meet his eyes before his own lips spread into an identical smirk of mischief and malicious intent.

"What an _idea_!"

"So, Mello," Matt said, standing up and half-lowering his eyelids. He traced his long fingers along the edge of Mello's bed, smiling almost seductively. "Got any rope?"

Mello laughed. "You seriously want to do something like that? I was mostly joking!"

Matt grinned wolfishly; Mello fancied he had dog ears, perked up in his excitement. "C'mon Mello, it'll be fun!" He nudged his older friend with an elbow. "Can we? Please? I mean, think about it. We need…ooh! A rope…and a gag…"

Mello actually cocked an eyebrow. "A gag?"

Matt crawled under Mello's bed, his chest, head, and arms consumed by dust and shadows. He was propped on his knees.

"Well, yeah! Not that he talks much anyway, but I think being tied up for who knows how long, and if he thinks we're gonna…ngh…torture…" He trailed off into a series of groans of effort as he stretched further. "Hey Boss, I can't find anything!"

Distracted by his whirling thoughts, Mello could only replay distantly.

"Keep lookin', there's rope under there somewhere." After a moment where there was no response, Mello scowled down at the part off Matt protruding from under his bed. "Oi, Matt's Ass!" He nudged it forcefully; a thump was heard and Mello's bed shook violently. Matt yelped.

"OW! Aw, man, Mello, I'm not kidding! All I see is a dog leash!" He crawled all the way under, only to come out a moment later, still on his hands and knees. He held the leash at eye level, staring at it in a scrutinizing way. "When did you have a puppy?"

Mello flushed and snatched it from him. "Never mind that." He opened his closet and stuffed it in with some effort. He slammed the door shut before everything could fall out. "Try the storage closet; they always put some sort of rope in there. I think I saw some when Ne-"

"Oi, oi, wait!" Matt scrambled to his feet and forcefully opened Mello's closet again, stopping an avalanche with one hand. His other hand reached below where Mello had stashed the leash. "There's rope right here. And you had me looking under your bed?"

"Me? _You_ were the one who…agh, never mind, I forgot that was there. Well, what about a gag?"

Matt burst into laughter. "How about a chocolate bar wrapped in cloth? Then he'll get thirstier and suffer more, and we know he's not partial to sweets anyway. Bittersweet, innit?" He grinned, a very wicked, wolfish smile.

"Matt," Mello said, glancing down at his fingernails as though uninterested. When he felt Matt's gaze upon him again, he looked up, smiling slightly. "Did I ever tell you that sometimes you're brilliant?"

He could practically see the shadow of Matt's wagging tail.

"Very rarely, but I _love_ hearing it!"

"Good boy. Now, go fetch our victim."

Matt coughed, hazel-green eyes widening. He arched a red brow defiantly.

"Bull shit! He'll suspect me. If you send me, he'll know damn well we're up to something. You, he can trust, at least a little."

Mello didn't want to admit that was the truth.

"You're stealthier."

"You don't need sneaky, you need inconspicuous. You saying "Hey Near, could you come check over Roger's assignment with me? I think I'm onto something," on the other hand? NOT conspicuous."

"...hm. True. Well, I'll lead him into the room with us, and then you tackle him," Mello said. His words bothered him somehow. He ignored the feeling. "Deal?"

"Yessir!" Matt saluted. "Should I put my hand in his mouth to shut up up? No wait, he'd bite me." He put a finger to his pouting lips thoughtfully. "Are albinos rabid?"

"Just gag him as soon as you tackle him," Mello said, rolling his eyes. It was a cure to his boredom, and a good way to survive his fast-approaching meeting with the boring old man.

He just hoped this…strange feeling would go away before the prank…

'_If,'_ he thought with a nervous swallow of chocolate, _'it _was_ a prank…'_

(DN)

A pale chin rested in an equally pale palm. Dark eyes observed the words written in the old schoolbook with little regard for the content of the text. Near's vision was obscured briefly by a lock of cotton-white hair; he brushed it away distractedly, winding his finger around it while moving his chin-rest to turn the page.

"Roger," he mumbled. "What motive did you have for giving us the exact same assignment we had when we were eleven?"

As he moved his elbows back onto the desk, his gaze was torn from the page by a rustle outside his door, by a creak of floorboards, as though someone was standing there, waiting.

Near stared at the door expectantly. A moment later, the knock came. Near greeted it curtly and went back to reading. Mello always smelled strongly of leather. Near silently cursed L for the jacket he'd given the blonde, but he still found the scent…endearing, in its own way. Either way, he was slightly unnerved by the quietness of Mello's steps, the lack of a sneer on his young face.

"Good afternoon, Mello."

"Near."

"Something the matter?"

"Um, no. Was just hanging out with Matt and your name came up, and…"

Near was instantly alert. His eyes widened very slightly before he lowered the lids again and turned another page. He brought his right hand from his hair.

"Anyway," Mello grunted, biting into one of his chocolate bars, the hesitant look gone from his eyes and voice. "I think I'm onto something with that project Roger assigned us…come check it out. Tell me what you think."

"The science experiment about acids?" Near's tense body relaxed, his eyes betraying mild curiosity. "Think you found his motive for giving that assignment to us again?"

"Yeah, maybe."

It was back. That reluctance…made Near uneasy. _'How odd. Do I _prefer_ when he's arrogant and self-confident?'_

"Alright. Should I bring my book, or should we share yours?" He glanced back at his bed; the supplies they'd gathered from the storage room less than an hour ago were still scattered across the mattress.

"Leave them, it'll be easier to just share mine. Come on, it's in my room."

Mello turned and left Near's room without waiting for confirmation; perhaps he did it to hide the look of terror that flickered in his eyes. Near's distant murmur of consent was drowned out by the click of his door; it was hot, and the expanded wood seemed to protest. His eyes darted around the room as though he were anxious. Mello's cerulean gaze was locked on his door. Upon his descending hand, the door opened, and the two entered the room. Near glanced at Matt, who was sitting on the bed, watching the dancing flames rising from his lighter. His left hand was off to the side, holding something white.

"Alright, the book's over there. The way something was said kind of got me thinking…just go read what I highlighted."

Near hesitated a moment after mumbled his assent, but approached the book, staring at it as though he was afraid it was going to start screaming. His gaze barely had a split second to so much as skim the top of the yellowed text.

Matt pounced the smaller boy like a cat, knocking him onto his chest and landing across his back. His lighter clattered to the floor so he could grip his other object with both hands; he pulled his hands across Near's mouth so the chocolate-filled cloth forced itself between his lips. Matt's knees pressed him to the ground roughly.

"Fatality!" Matt cried, throwing one hand in the air victoriously. "Nightwolf wins!"

His other fingers remained tight on the ends of Near's cloth gag and he rocked back and forth contentedly, humming the Mortal Kombat theme and yelling "MAN DOWN!" at the top of his lungs. Near struggled, his usually empty eyes irritated, and hissed distastefully against the cloth muffling him.

"Remember what I said about how boring you are?" Mello asked softly, kneeling to look Near in the eye. "We've decided it's time to draw some emotion out of you. Just to experiment."

Unless his eyes deceived him, Mello swore he saw Near tremble slightly. He struggled again Matt's heavier body, but doesn't attempt to say anything. Only hard breaths escaped his lips and nose. Matt used his knees to pin Near's arms down, earning him another side glare, which he ignored.

"Mello, how do I clasp this thing? He's weak, so his arms we can just do with the rope, but what about the gag?"

Frustrated, Mello sighed, and running a hand through his golden hair.

"Use duct tape. That solves everyone's problems. I'm all for you torturing the poor kid, just don't kill him. That's my job."

Near was beginning to struggler harder, though clearly not from fear of Mello's taunting words. Breathing through his nose with apparent difficulty, he shot Mello a terrified look.

"Come on, Mello, you've gotta help. I'm the accomplice, but you've gotta do _something_ yourself. EVERYTHING was my idea…" Matt trailed off, taking note the severity of Near's struggling and pressing him down harder. "The hell's wrong with him, he knows we're not gonna kill him...well, yet." He chuckled.

Mello turned to rummage around in his closet; pulling a roll of duct tape from the abyss of clutter, he tore a piece off.

"It's in anyone's nature to fight when being pinned down, Matt, he'll stop after a bit."

He stretched the tape across Near's mouth and over the cloth, gently running a finger over his cheek. "Now, Near, don't you have too much fun while we're meeting with Roger."

Near flinched away from Mello's touch and twisted weakly beneath Matt to remove the weight; he continued staring at Mello, almost angry, but suddenly terrified. A whimper of pain escaped his mouth, and he panted hard behind the gag.

"He's not strong enough to throw me off, and he's already giving up?" Matt complained. "How boring…"

Mello found himself wincing.

"Uh, Matt, don't you think you're sitting on him a bit _too_ hard? I mean, you're not exactly a light-weight."

"Don't be chickening out _now_, Mello," Matt snorted. Near's eyes were glazed over with pain.

"S-seriously, Matt," Mello said, angry at his stammering, "you're smothering him."

'_Not like I _care_…'_

"And anyways, we've got to meet Roger in a few minutes. He hates it when we're late."

Near moved his head to rest his chin on floor, his attempts to breathe evening out. His dark, wide pupils fluctuated, dimming slightly. With what was an obviously exhausting amount of effort, he watched Mello. By the time their gazes locked, Matt had removed the weight and tied Near's hands to restrain him instead. Mello's view of Near's grey eyes was blocked by Near lowering his lashes in relief.

"Fine," Matt said. Near opened his eyes briefly to glare sideways at him, and growled through his gag.

"Before he _does_ die, we'd better get out of here. He'll be here when we come back. Where's he gonna go, really?"

Matt sighed lazily and climbed off of Near.

"Wonder what the old man wants us for anyway. Probably just a normal "How're you guys doing" thing. Waste of time..."

Mello ushered Matt out of the room, sneaking a glance back at Near.

"Don't try and escape, now. There'd be no fun in having to hunt you down again." Near opened his eyes half-heartedly to look at Mello, who turned his head from the boy's gaze, as if in shame. "…for anyone."

He followed Matt out, shutting and locking the door behind him. Near remained still, seething and nervous; he angrily swallowed the saliva that had formed because of the dripping chocolate.

"I need a smoke so bad," Matt whined, shoving his hands in his pockets and scuffing his shoes against floor with every step. "Think anyone'll find him? And what'ddya think the old codger wants, anyway?"

"Who knows? With him, it's probably like you said. Wants to see how we're doing, blah blah. And I locked the door, Matt. No one's gonna find him unless they literally kick my door in." He knocked on Roger's office door, sighing softly. "Well, guess it's about time we found out what he wanted, eh?"

'_And get back to Near…before something unexpected happens to him.'_

_-_

Cue the dramatic music? –smirks-


	4. Merciful and Murderous

Things start getting a tad insane here. –grins wickedly- It's a combination of intense pleasure at Mello getting back into role-playing and flattery at the people sending me reviews and PMs that has me updating now. So all you fans who are making yourselves known, thank you.

-

Chapter 4: Merciful and Murderous

-

Mello scoffed as the pair finally left Roger's office, shutting the door with a faint click. "That was…insanely strange, wasn't it? There are always new kids coming in, so whether they're transfers from another orphanage or not doesn't matter. As long as he doesn't make one of them my roommate, it's fine to have more kids here. It _is _a bloody orphanage, after all." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, almost nervous to go back to his room...he frowned a little, wondering briefly how long it'd remain his.

As soon as they were out of earshot of Roger's office, Matt threw his arms over his head in exasperation, narrowly missing hitting Mello.

"I _like_ Roger. He's nice. But he's so BOOOORING."

"It's over."

"Yep! And now we can play with our toy."

"I wonder if he's choked on that chocolate yet," Mello agreed, chuckling softly.

"I hope not, that'd be boring." Matt crossed his hands behind his head lazily. "What can we do, Mello, to really make that emotionless brat freak out?"

Mello drew back his left shoulder in a lazy shrug, quickly unlocking the door and peeking inside. "Well, he's still laying there. Breathing. A good sign."

He approached Near, leaning against the closet door with a small frown.

'_Why am I already starting to get second thoughts about this?'_

Near drew back from Mello and watched him through forced, deadpan eyes.

Matt tilted his head. "He didn't like being suffocated. I think there was actually fear there. He's not used to being touched, either, or he wouldn't be pulling away from you like that. So whatcha think? Can we toy with him a bit?"

"Hm." Mello knelt down, cocking his head at Near. During the silent contemplation, Matt retrieved his discarded light and played with it again.

"You know what I think, Mello…I think it's about time I put this lighter of mine to better use."

"Rather than simply fueling your early death?" Mello said snidely. He regretted the words the moment they'd left his lips, and bit them together as a result. He watched Near's eyes narrow arrogantly. The prisoner glared at Matt as though daring him.

"Works. Hey Mello. What's cooked albino taste like? The other, really, really white meat?"

Matt got to his knees beside Near and held the flame under his right hand, not yet touching fire to flesh. The sparking pillar glimmered in Matt's excited eyes. Mello watched the flames gently dance a few inches below Near's hand, a small shiver running up his spine.

"I…don't know. Guess we'll find out, won't we?"

It was like he'd spoken the verdict of a death sentence. Near's indifferent façade vanished immediately, and he tore his eyes from Mello to glance back at Matt's approaching hands, his eyes widening in disbelief and fear.

Matt let the flames rise and lick over Near's index and middle fingers, smiling at the tongues of flame and rising smoke. Near clamped his eyes shut and thrashed once against his bindings, biting back an already-muffled scream. The fire curled around his fingers and snaked down the back of his hand, barely touching the base of his wrist. Matt's wide eyes were flashing.

Mello suddenly froze, blue eyes fixated on the burning flesh of Near's fingers. He opened his mouth to comment of the horrible scent of smoldering flesh, but found his mouth quite dry. He swallowed hard, unblinking, watching the flames slowly engulf the white-haired boy's fingers. The usually pale skin was already marred with black and red burns.

Matt's normally friendly eyes were sinister with an unexplainable lust for the reactions the fire drew from Near. He snickered darkly.

"Near," he spat softly, as if the name burned him. "Emotionless and pale, or terrified and bloody? I hate both, actually." He paused, then: "Mello, should I move on to the face, or the other hand?"

He blew at the flame gently, his breath acting as food for the fire; it reared up as though attacking and continued its relentless assault on Near's hand. Near, obviously self-conscious about the tears building behind his lowered lashes, barely managed to swallow a second cry of stifled agony.

Mello was torn from his thoughts at the muffled scream, and shocked himself by knocking the lighter from Matt's hands.

"_No!"_

He stared at both of his classmates, wide-eyed. Only Matt stared back. Mello swallowed hard.

"...no…" He shook his head as though clearing it and ran a hand through his blonde hair, a faint smirk brushing over his lips. "Let me take over, alright? You said you needed a cigarette break on the way to Roger's office, so go on. I don't know how long I'll be."

Near forced himself into a ball, trembling violently and only dimly aware of Mello's voice. He was unable to make out words; he forced his eyes open slightly to peer at the door, his last, hopeless resort of escape.

Matt grabbed his lighter, scowling with distaste at how fast the fire was extinguished.

"Well, jeez, ya didn't have to knock it down. Fine, I'll let you have some fun." He stood up, kicking Near in the ribs with moderate force on the way out. "Just tell me everything when I get back."

Mello waited until the door was closed behind Matt before walking over unsteadily and locking it. He rubbed his temples.

"Shit…I didn't...tch."

He tried to keep his footsteps light as he moved toward Near and tore the tape from his lips. He crumpled it into a ball in his left hand as he gently pulled the cloth from inside of Near's mouth; the latter coughed violently, flinching away from Mello's touch, terrified and breathing hard. He closed his left eye and fought off another scream, which came as a strangled cry, as his scalded hand scraped against the hard floor.

Near bowed his head, injured and insulted, and averted his gaze from Mello's. Mello ignored the reactions and removed the rest of the bindings, flopping face-first onto his bed soon after.

"I'll think up an excuse," he grumbled. "Just…go, before he comes back…or something. I di…" He trailed off, then snorted. "Just forget it. It's worthless trying to talk to you, anyway."

Near hesitated, watching the older boy through unnaturally terrified eyes; swallowing hard, he raised his right hand to his lips to suck on the wound tenderly, but didn't move from his spot or look away from Mello. Sensing Near's hesitation, Mello flipped over onto his stomach and shot him a half-assed glare.

"Are you waiting for me to open the damn door and roll out the carpet, or something? Christ, you tell someone to get out, and they never listen."

He continued to grumble, rolling onto his side, though his words didn't reach Near's ears. The boy clothed in white lowered his gaze slightly, nursing his hand. After a moment, he pulled it away to look at the clotting blood and blackened skin, a stark contrast against the white of the wrist and palm.

"M..." he whispered, and then fell silent again, breathing shakily, uneasily. Mello growled softly, rising from the bed and folding his arms across his chest.

"What, Near, what? What could you, of all people, have to say to me? I'm letting you go, isn't that enough!?" He raked a hand hurriedly through his hair, giving the blonde locks a small yank of frustration. "Of course it's not enough, never is. So go ahead! Say what you need to say and get out."

Near winced at the verbal brutality. "I..."

He looked down at his right hand, almost fascinated by the colors, swirled by the tear-blurred vision. He jumped in slight pain as a single tear splashed onto the wound, but he rubbed it in with his left index finger. "...I have...three things that I..." He forced gaze onto Mello's. "M-Mello...I just don't really...know which I should say."

Mello scowled and sat back on his bed, extracting a chocolate bar from the sheets and biting off a block. "Well, just spit it out, then. Better than lollygagging around here all evening. Matt's gonna be back any minute, so make it quick."

Near's reaction came as a surprise to Mello, but at the same time, he'd almost expected it. Instinctively throwing both hands back against floor to edge away from the door, Near grunted softly in pain and pulled his right hand back to his chest protectively.

"I...I'm sorry," he said finally. He nodded once, almost unnoticeably, at his choice of the words. "That's...that's it..."

Mello looked up from the floor and caught Near's eyes, his mouth open slightly at the boy's words. "S...you're _sorry_?" He snapped his mouth shut with a grunt, biting off another piece of chocolate in the process. "Alright, then…you said you had three things, so what are the other two?"

Near looked away from Mello suddenly to stare at his hand. He regarded the pure white palm for a moment before clenching it into a charred and bloody fist. "Um...one was..." He bowed his head a little so that his hair cast his eyes into darkness, and mumbled almost inaudibly. "Thank you."

Mello nearly choked on his snack at Near's second confession, setting the bar down on the bed. "You..." He stood again and walked slowly towards the other, staring in almost disbelief at his bowed head. "An…and the...the last one?"

Near tensed at the advancement.

"Th-there were...technically two parts...one was more of...a question...why you were doing it. But...you hate me, so that's obvious. Then it was why...you made Matt stop..." He turned his head further from Mello's gaze. "I...wanted to...m-make sure you didn't simply want me...to..."

He cut himself off with a strangled noise and pulled his knees to his chest, hugging them and trembling. Mello shivered at the sound and ignored the urge to abandon him; he pressed on, forcing himself to be gentle.

"Want you to, what…?" He sighed. "I...I may hate you, Near, but…" He broke off abruptly with a sound of disapproval. "Just finish what you wanted to say, and get it over with. I don't have time to play games with you."

"N-never mind. Just...I'm sorry." He got to his feet unsteadily, his heavily-damaged hand oddly still by his side. "If Roger...asks why I'm wearing gloves, tell him I developed L's habit for...you know." He glanced toward the door beneath depressed, half-closed lids. "Finger chewing. Bye, M...M-Mello."

Mello blinked, his entire personality tilting into a new dimension for only one moment.

"N..." he began, then scowled angrily. "Oh, no, that is _not_ how this is ending." In a swift moment, he advanced toward Near and pinned him against the wall, their gazes locked. The severity Mello's trembling rivaled Near's…always rivaling Near's. "Finish it..." he pleaded softly. "Please."

"Mel...do you...Mello! I..." He struggled, pushing out against Mello's hands. "Mello, let go...let go of me." It wasn't a plead. He closed his eyes again, bowing his head, white hair falling to curtain his pale face.

"Do I _what_, Near? Finish it!" Mello pressed harder, his face only inches away from Near's. "Say it, Near, for your sake. And possibly my own. You started it, so now you've got to finish it."

Near met Mello's eyes suddenly, his own grey gaze darkened from lack of emotion.

"Why should I? Are you going to burn my other hand too?" He narrows his eyes slightly. "I'm just like chocolate to you, aren't I? Isn't it almost time for another bar? Finish me, then find a new one to gnaw the pieces from for awhile." He bit his lower lip but continued glaring, the aggression weak-willed.

Mello snarled, pulling back momentarily simply so he could slam Near back against the wall with twice as much force as before.

"Don't you…you're...argh!" He let go of Near's left wrist and wrapped his fingers around his throat, glaring at him with unbridled hatred. "I could have let Matt kill you earlier, but no, your pitiful screams got the best of me and I let you go. I told you to get out, but you didn't listen…why didn't you fucking _listen_!?" His fingers spasmed and his grip tightened a bit; he emitted a barely audible whimper in the process. "This is all your fault…I hate you, Near."

Near stared back unblinkingly, only the smallest flicker of fear shining behind his eyes. He replied with only slight effort.

"I-I know. And I didn't listen b...because I was curious. About...what you'd do if I disobeyed."

He wasn't struggling. That alone had Mello on the edge of losing his mind. Still, he stared at Near, wide-eyed, his grip releasing slightly, at the words.

"You…this…you were...NEAR! This is all just a _game_ to you, isn't it?!" He shook his head violently and grasped Near's throat more tightly, his other hand slowly releasing its grip on the other wrist. "You wanted to…test me. You're always testing me…playing me, for your own curiosity. It's _always_ been a game to you. Always!"

Near's eyes asked a silent question despite the building fear; he parted his lips in a desperate struggle to breathe, reluctantly raising his left hand and placing it on Mello's wrist, feebly trying to pry him off. The fingers on his damaged hand twitched slightly under Mello's loosening grip.

"Mel...lo...don't...give up..."

The blonde attempted to avoid the grey gaze, but his eyes were deadlocked with Near's, his questioning look almost fueling the raging inferno inside. He felt a strange, smug grin paint over his lips. "You fight. Why? You've lost, Near. I…" He paused, fully taking in Near's strangled words, and blinked. "Don't...give up? What...what do you mean, don't give up?"

Near instinctively struggled to break free, but visibly forced himself to stop, grimacing. "I've...seen it, Mello..." He stared darkly. The light flickering in his eyes dimmed. "Just...finish."

Stunned, Mello let go of Near abruptly and took a step back. Near fell unsteadily, dropping onto a supportive left hand. He shifted into his unusual sitting position and moved his good hand to rub his throat. Mello stared at him, eyes wide open.

"You _wanted_ me to kill you…didn't you? And I was...you planned this."

"No. That was never my intention." Near stared back, his dead eyes clashing against the emotions raging within Mello's. "And you knew that. Because I only came in to see the book you told me to look at."

"I…I did…" Mello fell silent, unable to respond. "We just wanted…tch." He massaged his temples softly. "There's no excuse for that…I didn't mean for it...psht, just…forget it. You might as well get out while you can."

Near didn't move from his spot on the floor, and merely blinked up at him solemnly. "Mello. There's a piece of chocolate. In the kitchen freezer...under all the veggies and meats...it's one square. Stale, and nibbled, and freezer-burned...wrapped in tin-foil. Do you know which one I'm talking about?" He lowered his head slightly. "You've had it there for...months."

"A…piece of chocolate?" Mello cocked an eyebrow, slightly unnerved by the sudden conversation change. "I don't recall that piece of chocolate. But it's not like I can keep track of every single piece…what does that have to do with anything?"

Near blinked…was that _sorrow?..._and averted his gaze.

"Figured you forgot. See, when...when you got tired of that chocolate bar, you didn't finish eating it. You put it away and forgot about it. No one's ever going to eat it now. It's just...there..." Mello almost missed Near's failed efforts at looking up. He didn't mention it. "Am I...just there, too? Or will you finish gnawing at me... _torturing_ me…and finish me?" He looked up meekly. His attempts to entwine his burned hand in his hair failed, and he dropped his hand into his lap listlessly.

Mello absorbed his words with a frown. "I…I don't know. You just...you're able to get under my skin more than anyone else I know, and that alone makes me..." He shook his head, crossing his arms with a huff. "But if you're dead, I'll have no one to challenge, and no reason to continue pushing myself."

Near stared down at his burned hand as though he wasn't listening. "Mello...this...really hurts."

Mello tsked softly, obviously annoyed by Near's total disregard for his previous statement, but shrugged it off and nodded, unlocking the door and pushing it open. "Uhm…you'll probably need to put some ice on it…or burn cream. Roger has some of that…somewhere."

"I hope Mello never gets burned like this," Near said, flexing his fingers and glancing toward the door. "And Roger would ask questions. Um..." He got to his feet and stepped toward the door, hesitating because of Mello's proximity. "Matt's outside. You...might want to check on him...and Mello...I don't mean to get under your skin." His eyes and tone were almost mournful. "I just do."

Mello shrugged and moved to leave the room, pausing only slightly at his rival's words. "I... I know."

He left, wandering outside in search of his best friend. _'Matt...I hope he hasn't gotten himself killed yet.'_

His sharp eyes spotted Matt up in a tree, and a small smirk plastered itself across his thin face. "Can you be any more stupid, Matt? Really!"

Matt slid on the branch until he was hanging upside down, his legs wrapped firmly around the thick limb. He crossed his arms and grinned toothily.

"Oi! Are you done with our little...project?"

Mello shifted slightly at the mention of it. "Down boy, down. Eh, yeah, for the most part…anyway. Pretty sure you've smoked enough cigarettes to last you two weeks, so come on, let's go back in. …what happened anyway?"

"Looked at the wrong girl's ass," Matt admitted sheepishly. "Her boyfriend got pissed. They left when you came out." He dropped from the tree gracefully and landed on his feet, his left hand splayed on ground for support. He stood with crooked smile. "So. Work or play?"

Mello replied with a lazy yawn. "Sleep. It's late, and I'm tired. We've got that test tomorrow, and you know how Roger gets when we're late and we half-ass something." He stretched his long limbs and slowly moved back towards the main building, arms folded back behind his head. "So, are you coming or not?"

"It's not fair," Matt complained, kicking at the ground grumpily. "You kick me out of the room when things get good with our project, then when you come in to retrieve me it's to tell me "Let's go to bed." You SUCK, dude. When's my turn?"

"I could have just left you out here all night wondering, but then you'd still be getting attacked by that girl and her boyfriend. So you've got no room to be complaining, Matt." He waved over his shoulder at the red-head and disappeared into the building.

(DN)

There was no mistaking the sound of Mello's heavy footsteps. Near looked up from his spot, lifting his hand from where he'd been forced to lie, running his white fingers over the residue of ash and frayed rope. The footsteps grew closer; he stood hurriedly, grabbing a black glove from Mello's dresser and pulling it on. For a moment, he stood, examining the contrast of the black against his white skin. He shook his long sleeves over it and left, his head bowed and his hair falling over wet eyes.

When he got into his room, he shut the door with his heel and leaned his back against it, listening. Only a few heartbeats later, he heard Mello pass his door. He held his breath, waiting. When he became aware of his own actions, he swiped at his eyes with the back of his left hand and crossed the room to his bed. He stared down at the project requirements…the bleach, the vinegar…and swept them onto the floor carelessly. Reaching over the side of his bed with his good hand, he pulled up a light blue plush rabbit by the ear, then gripped the corner of his blanket in his teeth and crawled into the corner of the room to curl up.

Shivering once and drawing his knees to his chest, he buried his face into the rabbit's soft fur and pulled the blanket over both of them. A moment passed before he tipped over, lying down in a bundle of warm blanket and fluff. He spent a while nibbling the edge of the middle finger of Mello's glove; a few moments later, he closed his eyes over two rogue tears, and fell asleep with a shaky breath.

(DN)

Mello spared Near's door one glance when he reached his own room; he shook his head and quietly let his own door close with a soft click.

'_I still hate him…but I stopped...' _

He broke into his thoughts with a derisive snort and slumped face-first onto the bed again, his eyes sliding closed automatically. _'Near. What the hell is he _doing_ to me?'_

-

-whispers- We are sick and _twisted_ individuals...don't listen! O.o;


	5. Chiraptophobic

Damn, Matt and Kaze are right...re-reading all these old chapters gives me a feeling of nostalgia. xD Ah, well.

Wasn't originally gonna post this today, but after posting "Misread Cards" last night I had to shake off the NxM vibe. This chapter (and the few after it) show Near's breaking point. I love when the little sheep goes insane. :'3

If MxN is a guilty pleasure, I can't even describe what NxM was like to me. xD Anyways. Here we are.

Oh, and chapter six...is delicious. So if you want it, review. -grins-

-

**Chapter 5: Chiraptophobic**

-

Dark grey eyes opened from a night of sleep that didn't feel like sleep. The small boy was entangled in his blankets as if they were ropes trapping him…he gasped sharply and struggled out of it, terrified by the bindings. He stood and pressed himself against his wall, panting softly and clutching his rabbit's ear in his left hand while staring down at the thick blanket, curled around his feet so innocently…

(DN)

Mello was eventually roused from his fitful night of sleep, courtesy of the warm rays of sun shining through the curtains, filling the entire room with a warm glow.

"Nngh."

He sat up, rubbing his eyes and sliding off the bed. He padded past discarded rope and wadded tape, and over the chocolate soaked floor, without a second glance. _'I bet he's sitting in the floor, playing one of his games, like nothing happened...tch.'_

Mello rapped his knuckles against Matt's door sharply, not waiting for an answer before pushing it open. "Hey, you awake ye…well! Guess that answers my question."

Matt was sitting on the edge of his bed, his eyes hidden behind gleaming orange goggles but clearly locked onto the screen of his DS. Mello indicated the game, a small smirk tugging at his lips. "You were up all night, weren't you?"

"Yeah, I was...tryin' to…" Matt broke off into a sleepy yawn. "Beat the level...'n then I'll get som'...sleep." He flashed a tired grin at Mello.

"You and that damn game, I swear." Mello sat down beside him and leaned over his shoulder to peer at the game, then snorted and sat upright.

"We've got till around noon, anythin interesting you wanna do?"

"I dunno, I jus' wanna beat th' level..I'm tired 'n stuff. I'm tellin' ya Mello, it's playin' with fire, staying awake like th...oh!" He perked up and paused the game, grinning at his friend. "What happened with Near last night? What did you do while I was gone? Tell me all the sordid details!"

Mello smiled sheepishly, more of a grimace than a grin. He shrugged and quickly folded his arms. "Not much…though I'm pretty sure I totally shattered whatever sanity he had left." He forced his grin to grow wider, avoiding eye contact with Matt. The latter wasn't fooled; raising an eyebrow, he lowered his DS and pulled his goggles down to look Mello in the eye.

"Alright, spill. I'm lazy, not stupid. What happened?"

"...is it really that obvious?" When Matt nodded, Mello sighed with another feeble shrug, moving towards the desk and leaning against it. "What is it _always_, Matt? He got under my skin, as always…he always gets under my fucking skin." He growled slightly, eyes narrowing. "I let it get to me, the way he whined and whimpered, but then we got into our own fight when you left, and…I tried to strangle him, and about the time he was almost gone…I stopped."

Matt didn't try and stop his distressed spluttering. "Dude. You seriously tried to...kill him? And...then stopped? I really don't know which amazes...no, _shocks_ me more! What did he _do_?"

"Yeah…he just…he's just _Near_, I guess. He wouldn't...he wouldn't finish. He said he had three things to tell me, and when he kept stalling in telling me the third…I just…lost control." He tugged at a lock of blonde hair distractedly, staring at the ceiling. "He's the only person who can get to me this bad. And I have no idea why."

"Don't tug your hair like that. It's what Near does. So what were these three things that made you lose control? Did he tell you he molested you in your sleep or something?"

"The first one was…sorry. The second was thank you. And the third..." Mello trailed off, his eyes glazing over as the memories flashed through his mind. "I don't think he ever truly told me the third one, or if he did, I just didn't realize it at the time…I just don't know, Matt."

"Sorry for what? And...thank you? What the hell did he thank you for? What...did he actually _like_ all that pain?" Matt broke off to laugh, a mean-hearted sound that didn't suit him at all. "Ah, he's a _masochist_...pff, figures."

"Your guess is as good as mine right now. I never did figure out what he meant either. I want to ask, but...I'm probably the last person he wants to talk to right now." Mello moved away from the desk and paused in front of the door, glancing back at Matt. "So are you still planning on taking that nap?"

"What about you? Going back to bed?" Matt yawned lazily. "But yeah, I am. I'm just thrilled with this new discovery…Near loves pain." He snickered softly and burrowed into his covers. "That's just awesome... "

"Matt, just shut up about it already. I doubt he was thanking me for _that_. " Mello rolled his eyes, moving out of the room and into the hall. "No, I think I'll stay up for a bit, go sit around outside or something. I'll meet you near the soccer field sometime later, alright?"

"Sure, I'll meet you...NEAR there..." He snickered, then groaned, slamming his face into the pillow. "Aw, I really gotta get some sleep. Just dun kill anyone while I'm out cold, got it, Mello?"

He fell asleep without waiting for an answer. Mello wouldn't have replied anyway. He quietly shut Matt's door behind him with a soft click, passing his own room and then Near's; he paused. _'I should at least go check on him…since...'_

He frowned and knocked on the door. When there was no answer, he opened the door a crack to peek inside. "Uhm, Near. You in here...?"

"M…Mello?"

The owner of the softly spoken name entered the room and spotted Near huddled in the corner. He stopped in front of the small frame and heaved a nervous sigh.

"I just…came to check on you, I guess. I see you stole one of my gloves?"

Near glanced down at his hands and then off to the side, apparently determined not to make eye contact. "I don't have gloves. If I didn't take it, Roger would have noticed my hand."

"I'm not saying anything about it, just making an observation. I…don't mind." Mello shifted uncomfortably, eyeing the gloved hand with only mild interest. "So…how's your hand doing?"

"It's...fine, thanks," Near murmured, pulling it under the folds of his blanket.

"Well, I hope it, uhm…gets better." He cursed himself for stammering and moving again. "I guess I should be…going, then."

Mello turned to leave, somewhat hesitantly. Near moved instinctively, holding his left hand out for a moment. "M...Mello, wait." He drew back nervously, shifting weight onto his knees. Mello paused at the door, startled.

"Yes, Near?" He turned around slowly, peering down at him. Near lowered his gaze.

"Just...I wanted to make sure this was a one time thing. You said it was an experiment...to see how I reacted." He met Mello's eyes listlessly. "You've seen. Are you done? And…more importantly, did you like it?"

"Yes," Mello said, all too quickly. "It was a one time thing. I'm done. I saw what I needed. And I can't say if I liked it or not, 'cause I really don't know."

"Mello...I know only one thing for sure. _I_ didn't like it. But...if you really want to see my reactions to things like that...maybe I'll react differently next time." His stare preached apathy. "I don't like being touched. And now, I don't like fire, either."

"I didn't _expect_ you to like it. It's called torture for a reason." Mello gradually made his way back towards Near, kneeling down in front of him slowly. "There won't be a next time…at least for that sort of thing. I just have one question. Why _don't_ you like being touched?"

"There have only been two times that anyone's touched me directly in a way that didn't hurt," Near said quietly. "One was when Roger brought me to Wammy's. He held my hand...and when I met L, he ruffled my hair. Other than that, it's always been a painful experience." He glanced down at the long sleeve draped over his left hand before meeting Mello's eyes again. "I try and avoid direct contact because I... ...automatically connect it with pain."

"And the way Matt and I acted probably didn't help that," Mello sighed. _'Maybe I can…'_

"No."

"Not all touch is painful, Near. You just need someone to show you…" He lifted his hand and moved toward Near's face, lightly brushing the back of his hand against the smooth skin of his pale cheek. "Sometimes…it can feel nice."

Near flinched away from him, pressing his back into the wall. "Mello, what...what are you doing? Is this some other sort of experiment? It's...it's worse if you bait me first. If you're going to hit me, just _do_ it!"

'_Ouch.'_

"I'm not going to hit you, Near. I just…wanted to touch you, I guess." He wrinkled his nose. "I'm not "baiting" you into anything. I've got no reason to. I...I should go. Didn't mean to bother you."

He turned to leave, but was stopped by the trembling hand on his sleeve. He hesitated, and a shudder ran down his spine when Near spoke next.

"You...you're not. I've just...I'm not sure what's going on." The boy bowed his head submissively. "My logic is...dead."

"I don't know, either. It feels…weird." Mello moved his free hand under Near's chin and gently lifted his head; his thumb rubbed his cheek, moving in small circles. "Weird, but…good."

Near tensed, rather than flinching.

"Why...did you do it? Was it something I did that deserved such...punishment?"

Mello frowned at Near's anxiety and paused the movements of his thumb. "You…do things to me. You affect me in ways other people can't. And I hate you for it. You're always…_better_ than me."

"I don't try to be," Near said, brushing Mello's hand away distractedly. "It's just how I am. ...would you like me to stop?"

"No."

Mello reached forward again and cupped the side of Near's face, letting his thumb run over the soft skin again before moving over his lips. "What fun would stopping be? You know…maybe you are like a chocolate bar to me. After that first bite, you can't help but be...addicted."

Near drew back a little with widened eyes, his back meeting the wall.

"Mello, chocolate is bad for you in the long run. It causes cavities, and even when you reach the end, you want more...craving what you just can't have..."

Mello shrugged, leaning forward with a grin.

"There are a lot of things that are bad for you, but that's never stopped anyone before, has it?" He slid his eyes half closed and licked his lips dreamily. "The cravings are more than worth it, because when you finally get what you want, it tastes like heaven. Don't you agree, Near? It's absolute ecstasy with _every taste_."

Near averted his gaze beneath lowered lids.

"I was never particularly fond of candy. I don't tend to eat much anyway...only things that might help me get some strength." Then, more softly: "Obviously that plan isn't working..."

"Candy gives you energy, but I doubt it's in the manner you're after." Mello reached down to tug on Near's hidden hand, removing it from behind his back slowly. He caught Near's gaze to ask a silent question, and Near shook his head. The latter glanced down to his other hand as if distracted, clenching it into a fist.

"No matter what I eat, I always stay the same. Roger says vegetables help us grow, and milk makes our bones stronger, but I've always been...this way."

"Eh, some people are just different," Mello grumbled, gently removing the glove from Near's hand. "I never really thought Roger knew what he was talking about."

"Roger's smart. Not as smart as L, but smart..."

"L...no one's as smart as L." Mello tossed the glove onto the floor and eyed the burn on Near's hand. "Hurt a lot?"

He lightly rubbed a finger over the wound, leaning down to press his lips against the younger boy's fingers. Near flinched, jerking his hand back reflexively and lifting it to his own mouth.

"Yes. What...why did Matt do it? He's not usually so sadistic..."

"He's having a fire-obsessed phase, damn arsonist. He'll be building bombs before you know it. …you should put more ice on this later. It helps it heal faster."

"Should we tell Roger….about..." Near paused, watching Mello. "…what...are you doing?"

Mello examined Near's other fingers, bringing each to his lips in turn before dropping the small hand slowly. He shrugged faintly, avoiding both questions by leaning forward and gently brushing their lips together, a small smirk tugging at his mouth.

"You're smart enough to figure that out on your own, Near," he breathed against the pale lips. "You don't need my help with that one."

Near pushed Mello away with his good hand and pressed against the wall, his eyes wide. "M-Mello, this isn't..."

"Isn't what, Near?" He leaned forward again, leaving his face millimeters from Near's. "Too fast? Hm, isn't that a shame…what I said earlier was true. Once you get a taste…you can't help but want more." He flicked his tongue across Near's lips, hands gripping at his shoulders. "You become obsessed with it, and it's all you crave anymore."

Near's watchful eyes were void of emotion.

"Then you shouldn't have taken a taste."

"Sometimes you just can't help yourself. You know that as well as I do." Mello moved from Near's face to his neck, trailing his tongue over the light skin of his collarbone. His hands maintained a firm, easy grip on his arms. "Self control never was my best quality."

Near's arms spasmed in his feeble attempts to get away. He bowed his head to guard his throat from assault.

"Nngh...Mello, if you don't learn self control, you'll never...surpass L."

"Don't you mean I'll never surpass _you_?" The older boy grinned slightly, moving back up from his neck to his face. "L's the last thing on my mind right now." He reluctantly released Near's arms, undoing a few buttons of Near's shirt. He immediately attacked the newly revealed skin with feather-light kisses and licks. Near closed his left eye and put a hand on Mello's shoulder, trying to push him off.

"Nnk...Mello, stop it!"

"Mm, why? I'm quite enjoying this, aren't you?" He undid the rest of the buttons, trailing down his chest and lightly sweeping his tongue across one of Near's weaker points. "You said you associate any sort of touch with pain, and I told you someone needed to show you otherwise...I merely took up the offer."

Near squirmed, a light brush of pink tainting his cheeks. "Nn...n-no, Mello, I'm not. I...think I should be in charge of what I learn...I can do without this knowledge, I think..."

"You think too much," Mello replied. Still, he shrugged and slowly leaned back, lazily redoing the bottom button of Near's shirt. "But, if you say so...like I said earlier, put some ice on that wound. And the burn cream's in the storage closet. I'll get it."

He left without waiting for acknowledgement. Near watched the abrupt exit, confused, before letting out a shaky breath and trying to re-button his shirt with only his left hand, failing miserably.

"This is...obnoxious...ugh." He pulled his shirt over his head clumsily with his good hand, backing out of it. He stared down at his chest for a moment. With a finger, he trailed the invisible path Mello's tongue had left on his skin; he shivered slightly.

A tapping noise outside of his door made him jerk his hands away again, startled. Standing up straight, he moved to open the door.

"...hello again, Mello."

"How the…never mind." He coughed, tossing the bottle of medicine at Near before extracting a bar of chocolate from his pocket and unwrapping it. "So... _why_ are you not wearing a shirt, exactly?"

Near blinked emotionlessly. "I can't button it back up with my hand in the condition it's in, and I don't have any classes, or reasons to leave my room for the next two days. So why bother?"

"Not even to play your puzzles? I'm surprised, Near, usually you're out there, doing some sort of game. I'd offer to help, but…" He snickered, biting into his chocolate and sucking on the piece softly. "Never mind."

"But," Near finished for him, his voice soft, "you've been a despicable cad lately, more than usual, and don't want to. Understandable. Good-bye." He moved to close door again, his eyes downcast.

"That's actually not what I meant, but alright. I just assumed my help would be the last thing you'd want, but...if you really do need it..." Mello shrugged and wrapped the bar of candy up again, shoving it into his pocket. Near closed eyes sadly, taking in a shaky breath.

"Just...just go, Mello."

He gave the door a half-hearted push and turned back to his room, grabbing the rabbit from the floor and sitting awkwardly to toy with its ears. Mello growled slightly, turning to leave and ignoring the pang of guilt growing in the pit of his stomach.

'_Maybe that was taking it too far. Sure, I was able to drive him a little bit insane, just like he does to me…but was it really _worth_ it?'_ He heaved a small sigh, turning again and gently pushing Near's door open. "Near? …let me…talk to you?"

Near nodded indifferently, keeping his eyes on the rabbit long enough to buy the time necessary to blink back tears. Mello quietly closed the door, taking a place a good distance away from him.

"Right, um…I'm…sorry. For earlier." He grimaced. "I just…got a little over my head."

"You're right...you were, I mean. You never could control your emotions." Near rubbed the rabbit's ear gently, taking in the feel of it between the fingers of his left hand. "But that's one thing you could always beat me at."

"What, not controlling my emotions?" Mello crossed his arms over his chest, scowling. "Most people think you _have_ no emotions, which might be why…"

He broke off and slid down the wall, extending one leg in front of him and resting his arm on the other. Near continued to tug at the rabbit's ears distractedly.

"I have them, I just can't _show_ them. I'm never quite sure how people will react when I do, so I try and stay consistent."

"I understand, I guess. Easier in the long run?" Mello shrugged his right shoulder lazily and started on another bar of candy. "So, um. You…okay?"

Near glanced indifferently towards his right hand. "It'll be okay. Other then that, my body is fine." He shifted his weight onto his other leg and glanced at Mello, resting his grey gaze on the chocolate. "You must really like it, to eat so much..."

"Huh? Oh…well, yeah. It's like how smoking is Matt's thing, and how games are yours. Chocolate is mine." He sucked on the edge of it, then coughed when his gaze began to stray. "So, uhm…you still need help with that…shirt?"

"Sure, if you want. Um...you kind of have to put down your chocolate though, if you can handle it." He gave a wry, half-smile. Mello snorted and wrapped it back up; he set it on the floor.

"I think I can manage two minutes without a bite, really. So, where is it?"

Near pointed toward the closet. Mello's eyes followed the direction of the younger boy's finger and, with a sigh, he got up. Only a moment after opening the door, he was forced to jump back as a toy robot clattered to ground… _'Figures…'_ …but he grabbed one of the white shirts hanging from the rack, closing the door gently.

Near stood unsteadily, looking up to meet Mello's eyes. "Here...can you button it for me?"

"Sure..."

Mello turned away, averting his gaze until Near had slipped his arms back into the sleeves. He was forced to redirect his attention back to his fingers and buttoned the shirt carefully. "There. Anything…else?"

Near knelt to grab Mello's chocolate bar and broke off a small piece. He stared at it thoughtfully.

"Yeah, one thing."

"One th…!"

He was cut off abruptly; Near pressed the chocolate into his mouth gently. Mello's eyes grew wide for a moment before returning to normal.

"What was that for?"

"You like chocolate," Near replied solemnly, staring into blue eyes. "It makes you happy. If I can't be happy, can I make Mello happy?"

Mello blinked, taking a moment to fully comprehend the statement. "Uh, Near, are you…sure you're okay?" He frowned slightly. "Why can't you be happy?"

"Nothing's ever really done it for me before," Near replied calmly. "I don't have parents and I don't have friends, so I just play with my toys for fun..."

"Well…your toys make you happy, don't they…? You play with them all the time, so I assumed you enjoyed them…" Mello fought the urge to squirm. _'Why do I even _care_?'_

"I play to ward off boredom, because I've nothing better to do."

Mello bit his lower lip, his expression changing to reveal what he was sure was pity and slight disdain.

"Hey Mello."

"Mm?"

"When do you want to finish our project?"

Mello couldn't help the smirk that touched his lips. Near was toying with his hair, using his uninjured left hand. The dark eyes were vacant. Mello didn't care; the smirk grew into a real grin.

"Let me find the stuff."

(DN)

Three doors down the hall, hazel-green eyes snapped open. Matt didn't go by his usual standards and continue to lie there lazily; for once, he was up and stretching almost immediately after awakening. He gazed into his mirror, examining the unusually dark marks under his eyes, the messy red hair he hadn't yet bothered to brush. His goggles were hanging from his neck. When he reached down to put them on, his attention was diverted.

"The lighter..."

He picked it up, running a bare finger over the cool metal exterior before clicking it open. The fire flashing in his eyes had little to do with the reflection.

'_Near...he had some of the most…_interesting_ reactions when I burned him with this.'_ He raised his hand over the flames and let the very tip of the blaze scorch the palm of his hand; pulls away a moment later, hissing slightly. _'He can be the one to feel it...'_

At the next click of his lighter, Matt flashed back to Near, writhing and whimpering in pain. _'I…never did get to see Mello's reactions to Near.'_ He snapped the lighter shut and met his own eyes in the mirror._ 'Maybe Mello will let me burn his face next time...no.' _

Matt glanced outside at the large crowd of students in the soccer field. There was a game going on; he highly doubted the chance that there were many kids inside the orphanage's main building.

"Not next time…"

'_Now.'_

* * *

For the record, "chiraptophobia" is an intense and mentally-crippling fear of being touched.


	6. Liar

This chapter was difficult to role-play due to the thoughts of Mello and Near. Since the story follows Mello more closely but this chapter is key in Near's character development, here's the basis:

'_**You see this when Mello is thinking.'**_

'_You see this when Near is thinking.'_

This chapter makes my bad writing skills worse. xD

-

**Chapter Six: Liar**

-

He didn't have to turn his gaze to the door. His eyes, usually stoic and impassive, widened into a look of fear; looking wasn't necessary. He knew who it was intruding into the white sanctuary that was his room. He knew Mello didn't slam his door open like that. Most importantly…

Near knew he was fucked.

"Near."

"…Matt."

He could hear the barely contained excitement in the redhead's voice. A tiny, metallic "clink" made him inhale sharply and hold his breath. He pictured Matt's sadistic smile; it almost made him whimper.

"It's rude to not look at someone when they're talking to you."

Near glanced his way, drawing himself up from his sitting position. He knew well enough that his eyes no longer betrayed his terror; the trembling of the burned hand hidden behind his back did. Within his mind, he was shocked to find his emotions and instincts screamed for Mello.

They say a predator can sense your fear…

Matt's approach was slow and casual. The flicker in his eyes wasn't; it was insane. Near thought he looked like a drug addict, about to receive his fix after a week of withdrawal symptoms.

"Y'know," Matt murmured, almost thoughtfully. He unlocked his gaze from Near's long enough to examine the fire he raised to his eye level. "You reacted…unusually, I think. Last time this touched your skin."

Near turned his head; he stepped backwards defensively, away from Matt, until his back was pressed against the wall behind him. The word that instinct drew from his lips disgusted him:

"Please..."

'_Mello…'_

The grip Matt put on Near's left wrist wasn't violent, but firm. Firm, and unwanted; that gave Near enough incentive to try to pull away. Though he didn't dare look down at Matt's other hand, the click of the lighter made his struggle grow more desperate. His eyes and breathing pattern reflected panic; he couldn't have said what kind of insanity was reflecting in Matt's.

'_Mello, please!'_

The older boy's eyes grew cold very suddenly, as though angered by Near's futile struggling. His grip grew tighter, and with no warning he forced Near's left hand into the flame. His expression changed only long enough for him to glance from Near and back into the fire. He watched, deadpan, his glassy eyes and goggles both reflecting the horrific scene.

Near wished he'd take the goggles off. Still fighting weakly, he cried out in pain, the sound of which was alien to his ears. His arm spasmed against Matt's rough grip.

"Matt, s-stop it! Please!"

Matt merely continued watching Near's flesh burn and listened intently to the crackling of the flame. Hazel eyes gleamed behind orange goggles.

"So...incredible..." he whispered. Near instinctively grabbed Matt's wrist with his already-damaged right hand and tried to push him off. His thoughts, his emotions, and his own incoherent pleas drove all logic from his mind.

"Matt, let go...! Stop it!"

'_M-Mello! '_

Matt seemed entranced. He used his own shoulder to pin Near to the wall and continues burning his hands, too fascinated by the sounds, the smell…the _sight_…to be concerned. Near's hands were too frail to affect him at all.

Grey eyes clamped shut to blockade a flow of tears. Near bowed his head, inhaling rotten air shakily, his legs failing beneath him. He felt sick…

"Matt...please stop it...M-Mello, help..." Even at his own lips' mention of the golden-haired teenager, Near opened eyes weakly, a tiny ray of hope shining through the irises that were foggy with agony. "Please, help me..."

His burden was removed abruptly, shortly after the clattering of falling objects, the slamming of a door…weakly, _dimly_, he was aware of hands, shrouded by leather gloves, pulling Matt off of him…slamming the sadistic redhead to the wall on the opposite side of the…room…

Near dropped to floor in a daze, staring into space and breathing unevenly; he unconsciously leaned head against the wall for support, his body convulsing occasionally. On the periphery of his cloudy vision, Mello had Matt pinned against the wall, a look of pure rage shining within light blue eyes.

Even Near had never seen such hatred there…

"Oi, Matt! Don't you think that's going a too damn far?! Mild burns?! I got that. But you're gonna make his damn _skin_ fall off!"

Behind glass lenses, Matt's hazel-green eyes flashed angrily.

"Oh, come off it, Mello! You don't find it _awesome_ the way the fire licks over his hand? It moves like a nest of snakes, it does! It looks cool, it sounds cool, and you HATE Near, so what the fuck is your problem _anyway_?!"

"My problem, Matt," Mello hissed viciously, "is that if anyone finds out what the fuck you're doing, you'll be booted out of here with nowhere else to go. What would you do without Wammy's, huh? You'd be noth-!"

He was silenced by Matt spitting furiously in his face. Mello's anger overbalanced his shock, and snatched the lighter from Matt's grip, flinging it across the room, and leaned down to whisper into his ear. "I'm thinking about you, and myself. Without you here, I'd have no one. Now, just…get out."

He gave Matt a hard shove towards the door. Matt stormed out, grabbing his lighter and slamming door callously behind him. Even through the closed door, his enraged cry echoed across Near's room:

"_Asshole!"_

Mello rubbed his temples, warding off a migraine. "Christ..." Near looked up weakly.

"Mello...you..." He trailed off, shattered, his body still trembling violently. Wincing, he pulled his newly injured hand closer to his chest, silent tears streaming down his face.

"I _what_, Near?" Mello snarled at him viciously, whirling to greet him. His gaze softened immediately at the sight of the weakened genius. Growling softly, he glanced back at the door Matt had vacated. "What the hell's gotten into him all of a sudden...? Pissed or not...whatever, he'll get over it…"

'_**Or at least he'd better.'**_

He moved back to Near, looking over him, worried despite himself. "He didn't hurt you too bad, did he?"

"It's...worse than before...just because he didn't hesitate this time." Near appeared unnerved by his own freely-flowing tears. "...he did this without you...was this all his idea? And you." He seemed to pull himself together a bit as he looked up to meet Mello's eyes. "Th-thank you..."

"Forget it. I...had no idea he'd try this again. I thought we agreed that last time was the last time. He's just been weird lately, hanging around too many lighters. Either way, I didn't want my best friend getting expelled, so I had to stop it." He bent down, grasping the Near's wounded hand gently. Pushing up the long, white sleeve, he inspected the burns. "That's gonna leave a nasty scar."

Near had been running his less-damaged fingers over the new burns unsurely. At Mello's words, he began to breathe a little faster, and looked up at the older boy helplessly. A fresh wave of tears glazed his dark eyes. "Scar? You mean, this...isn't going to go away?" He seemed horrified by that concept alone. "It's permanent?"

Mello's eyes contrasted the terrified blush of Near's cheeks to the almost pure-white of his wrist, then glanced down to the marred black and red of his hands. It wasn't really hard to guess why the prospect of eternally scarred skin bothered the boy.

"Eventually it might fade to match your skin color, but for a while, it's going to be discolored." The prospect angered him too. He wrinkled his nose, shooting the door one last glare before turning back to Near's hand. "Depends how severe it is, in the long run. Just…bandage it up best you can and ice it. That's all anyone can do." He let go of Near's hand to grab a chocolate bar from his pocket. _**'This damned situation…'**_

"This won't stay quiet," Near said softly. "The next time someone grabs my wrist, I'm going to panic. All that I feel is pain, Mello. I told you it's not gonna change."

"I doubt anyone will try and grab your wrist. There'd be no reason for it."

"I...don't know." He spoke as if he'd never said those words before, and watched Mello handle his chocolate with shaky hands. "But if I start drawing away when people get too close, someone's gonna get in trouble...and because I won't tell them who it was, they'll…probably think it was you...no matter what I say..." He looked up regretfully. Mello's gaze hadn't left him.

"I know. We hate each other, so it's automatic to think I did something like this to you. Everyone thinks Matt's the guy on the sidelines, not capable of doing much. They always judge people, though they honestly have no idea how they really are."

He broke off a piece of chocolate, fumbling with it slowly before lightly pressing it into Near's mouth. A faint grin traced his lips. Reluctantly, Near closed his mouth over the candy, putting a hand on Mello's wrist before he could draw it away. He didn't chew, but rather waited for the chocolate to melt before swallowing.

"You're right. But I still won't tell them it was M…" He trailed off, unable to speak the pyromaniac's name. "Thank you, Mello..."

Mello said nothing, letting Near grip his wrist. "We don't have to worry about telling anybody anything right now. You can worry about that when you have to." He took a last bite of chocolate and set the bar on the floor with his free hand. "Just hide it as best you can."

A thump that made the walls vibrate indicated that Matt was still throwing a temper tantrum. Near tightened his grip on Mello's wrist as though terrified of letting go. "Um...can I borrow another one of your gloves, then?"

Mello nodded slowly, ignoring the loud thud as best he could. He broke Near's grip long enough to remove one of the gloves covering his hand. "Here, just…return them when you're done, alright? I kinda like my gloves. Don't ruin them or anything."

Near shook his head, not once removing his gaze from Mello's. "I would never."

"I know."

Near accepted the glove and dropped it onto the ground beside him, grabbing Mello's wrist again so he couldn't get up. The pale cheeks were tinted by a blush.

"I'm sorry, just..." He lifted his hand for a moment in an attempt to wipe his tears away, wincing as the salt sank into the burns. "Don't..."

He lowered his hands and bowed his head slightly, the tears spilling faster. Shocked, Mello stared at him. "Don't leave yet, okay?" Near whispered finally.

Mello shrugged faintly, gripping Near's chin with a small smile. "If you don't want me to leave, then I won't. The only thing I'd have to do when I left here was go talk to Matt, and I'm not in the mood to deal with that right now." He leaned forward, brushing his lips over Near's forehead. "I can't blame you for being a little bit nervous."

Near stared into the blue eyes as though comforted. "I'm not nervous. Nervous is when I have to get checked at the doctor and they have to take blood. It's...worse than nervous." He moved a hand to cover his heart. Had it been anyone else, Mello would have laughed at the dramatic movement, but with Near, it was all too honest. "I am...afraid, I think..."

"I…" Mello bit his lip, his eyes soft. "I won't let him…hurt you. Alright? I can handle him."

'_**How, I have no idea…but I have to.'**_

Mello shifted slightly, moving to sit down next to Near. The latter leaned his head against Mello's warm shoulder almost shyly.

"I know you can handle him...he listens to you. But...there's a part of me that wants to ask...why me? But...does that sound like a terrible thing...? Like selfishness?"

"No, it doesn't. Everyone wants to know why something happens to them. It's 'cause he _knows_ I hate you, and in some weird way, he kind of hates you, too. …that or he's just lost it. I wouldn't doubt it." He snickered for only a moment before his own words snapped into his consciousness. He internally slapped himself. Near lowered his lashes, taking the words to heart.

"Maybe he _has_ just lost it...hatred drives people to do very strange things..." He lifted his head and rested his chin on his knees instead, averting his gaze unhappily. "I'm sitting next to proof."

'_**...shit. Just when things **_**weren't**_** getting awkward.'**_

"I didn't mean it like that, Near." Mello tilted his head back, staring up at the ceiling. "Does your hand feel any better yet? I could get you some ice…if you want."

"Didn't mean it like...what?" Near looked at him askance, obviously ignoring the offer. "What are you saying?"

'_If he hates me so much, why...?' _

Mello reached down to pick up his chocolate bar, breaking off a piece in his mouth and sucking it slowly. _**'Of course I still hate him…he knows that better than anyone else. But the way Matt's been acting lately…I feel the need to protect him. I should want him hurt, but here I am, sitting next to him, almost...comforting him?'**_

"I...I'm not sure. You're still my rival, but I don't like seeing Matt do this. Part of me wants to hate you, but the other half…doesn't. If that even makes sense…" He scoffed.

"No, it doesn't make sense," Near replied softly, resting his head on Mello's shoulder again, "but Mello can hate me if he wants...as long as he doesn't hurt me anymore. This kind of touch...doesn't hurt."

Mello relaxed a little. "Some touch is pleasurable, instead of painful." He looked down at Near, lips twisting into a half-frown. "Sometimes it feels…so _nice_."

He lifted his hand, gently running a finger along the underside of Near's chin. Near inclined his head involuntarily to follow Mello's touch.

"It...does. But I just...haven't experienced it yet."

Mello grinned slightly, removing his finger and placing his hand lightly on Near's shoulder, rubbing soothing circles into the tense muscles. "Do you want to, Near?"

Near covered Mello's hand with own burned fingers, wincing slightly. "If it won't hurt...okay. Teach me...how touch can not hurt..." His voice broke, and he faltered, bowing his head and closing his eyes sadly. "And take away everything I thought I knew about it..."

Mello paused, taking in his words and giving a short nod.

"It won't hurt."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

He moved around, facing Near and grasping his chin with one hand. He ran a finger over his mouth before pressing their lips together, his eyes sliding closed automatically. Near's eyes remained open, watching Mello's lids flutter.

'_**...this is a bad idea. But I can't bring myself to...stop…' **_

'_He looks...peaceful. And…_happy_? Maybe...'_

Near closed his eyes and pushed against Mello unsurely, tilting his head upwards to meet the taller boy more easily. Mello grinned inwardly at Near's response._** 'Maybe this isn't as bad as I originally thought.' **_He shrugged the thought off, letting his mouth open slightly and running his tongue over Near's closed lips. _**'One step at a time...'**_

Near found himself opening his mouth on instinct; he pressed his eyebrows together and half-opened his eyes, breathing out softly. _'I...don't understand...'_

Mello was vaguely surprised by Near's sudden reaction, but didn't complain; he slipped his tongue into the other boy's mouth. _**'Mm, he tastes…like mint. Like…**_**toothpaste**_**? Figures, but…I **_**like**_** it…'**_ He smirked to himself, lifting his free hand and lightly twisting it in Near's hair, bringing the younger boy closer.

Near closed his eyes partway, making a muffled noise against Mello's lips; he took a mental note of his tongue. He exhaled into Mello's mouth, whimpering slightly. _'The next time I toy with my hair...it won't feel right...'_

Mello shivered at the whimper, taking a moment to break the kiss and breathe deeply, then connecting once more. He shifted around until he was able to lightly push Near to the floor, crawling over him._** 'Wrong…yes. But how weird. It feels **_**right**_**, at the same time…?' **_

He broke the kiss again, nipping lightly at the skin at Near's throat. Near squirmed, his breaths coming out in whimpers, and blushed. "M-Mello, you..." His breaths were heavy and strained. He closed his eyes again. _'Matt was on me last night, but in a different way...Mello's not suffocating me, so...this feels...but I still…can't breathe…'_

Mello slowly started unbuttoning the crisp white shirt, leaving a trail of kisses as new skin was revealed…

"Nngh, Mel...lo..."

'_What's hah...happening to me...?'_

'_**The way he keeps saying my name…it's driving me fucking insane…' **_

"Mm, Near?" He paused his movements to look up at him. "Something wrong?"

"N-no, I...it's just different than I'm used to. And..." He opened blurry eyes weakly. "You're being gentle...it feels...like you said it would, Mello..."

Mello hummed softly in response, undoing the last button of his shirt and moving back up his body. "I'm going to take a guess and assume that means you like it?" He smirked, pressing a chaste kiss to Near's lips while running his hands over the boy's chest.

"I...don't understand..." he whispered. A moan shocked him by escaping his lips. "...what are we...M-Mello, please..." His fingers clenched uselessly at the ground; the resulting shock from the burn made him wince in pain, tensing. Mello glanced down at his hands, gathering the newly burned one in his.

"Shh, don't make your burns worse. If you tense, this doesn't feel as nice." He kissed the palm, laying Near's hand back on the carpet softly. "Just relax…"

Near obeyed, exhaling shakily. "What...are we doing, Mello?" He met the blue eyes, utterly confused and slightly…_'Is this…desire?'_

Mello was unable to help the smirk tugging at his mouth; he shrugged and leaned down to his ear, brushing away snow-white hair and whispering his answer. "Making you feel good, Near. Do you want me to stop?"

"I don't...kn...no..." He turned away from Mello's gaze, blushing. He hated himself for it.

"Mm."

Mello nipped at Near's collarbone, running his tongue over the teeth-marks gently.

'_**His reaction is almost expected. He likes it, but part of him knows that it isn't logical. But will he give in to his brain, first, or his body? Logic...or emotions?'**_

Mello kissed the skin in a minor apology, and eventually found his way down to the waistband of Near's pants, glancing up to him slowly.

'_**...I wonder what his reaction would be, if I took his pants off…psht. He's got about five seconds to say something, or…no. There **_**is**_** no turning back.' **_

Near hesitated, completely confused. "I don't understand what you're...Mello..." He pulled his left hand his to mouth and nursed the now-bleeding wound unsurely, growing frightened.

"You'll understand soon, Near."

He hooked his fingers under the brim of Near's pants, dragging them down his legs and releasing them at his ankles.

'_**Ah…d-damned if I'm gonna stop this now.'**_ He pulled the remaining clothing off a little less gently, depositing them carelessly...well, elsewhere. He wasn't sure where.

"Mm…Mello, please...what are you-"

"Making you feel good, Near, what else?" He slid up towards the boy's face, using his shoulder to gently guide one of Near's legs up. "You wanted my help, so you're getting it. It'll…feel awkward at first. You'll get used to it."

Mello moved a hand down between Near's legs, pressing a long digit against him before sliding it inside. Near gasped and arched in discomfort, a whimper escaping his throat. Mello was moving slowly, but his ragged breaths were proof enough that wouldn't last long. He added another finger unexpectedly, and Near winced.

"Mello, stop! It...feels wrong..." He squirmed unhappily, panting. "It's so...dirty..."

'_It's another experiment...and I _fell_ for it...' _

Mello rolled eyes, moving his fingers in and out in a slow rhythm. _**'Of course it feels dirty. It's sex…sex **_**is**_** dirty.'**_

"Just relax, and it'll start feeling better."

Mello ran his tongue up Near's chest and to the base of his neck; the younger boy curved his body upward, away from the kiss, away from those…unwanted fingers…

'_He's...aah, he's not supposed to be...doing this, is he?'_

"Mello, I can't...it doesn't...feel right..."

Mello appeared not to have heard him. He continued moving his fingers, stretching them around inside of Near, who was still squirming in almost an attempt to escape. His hands grabbed uselessly at the rough carpet, and every time the burns made him flinch in pain, Mello groaned softly. The latter used his free hand to slowly reach down and unbutton his pants.

'_**Sorry, Near, but it's far too late to back out of this now.'**_

He removed his fingers, raising a brow and glancing down to Near. Dark eyes looked back up at him, pleading for mercy…Mello's mind mistook that for…something else.

"This is gonna hurt for a bit. Deal with it."

Near's eyes barely had a chance to widen.

"Mello, you prom…AAH!"

Mello slowly pushed himself inside, groaning at the tightness suddenly surrounding him.

'_**...f-fuck….'**_

Near bit his lower lip to keep from screaming, tears flooding his eyes. This pain…burned like fire.

"L-liar...M-Mello, you...aah! You liar!" He clamped his eyes shut, breathing shakily. _'I knew it...he…liar...l-liar...' _

Mello snickered, pressing himself all the way in, scoffing slightly. "I-I'm not a…liar." He shivered, slowly pulling out a bit before thrusting back in. Near cried out, his body involuntarily arching, his hands grabbing uselessly at the floor. "Just…C-Christ, Near! Relax a bit, w…will you?! You're gonna end up hah…h-hurting yourself more."

The blood dripping down Near's torn fingers stained the pastel-blue carpet. Half-heartedly, he tried to release the grip, succeeding for only a second before Mello slammed into him again.

"M-Mello, you said...ngh, Mel...stop it! It..._hurts_!"

'_Liar, liar, liar...' _

'_**For-r being so s-smart…ha…he doesn't listen…much…'**_

Mello shifted slightly, letting Near's quivering leg rest over his shoulder as the hand holding it drifted between Near's legs, rubbing his length with each thrust.

"Nn, jus...aah, calm down, will you? You're not...making it any…easier!"

Near flinched, trying to draw away; humiliation and pain drew water into his eyes.

"Mello, stop it, please...you pr...promised...nnk...hah...!" He moved his right hand from the stained floor onto Mello's shoulder and tried to push him off, attempting to prop himself up with his badly hurt left hand. "Get...off, _please_! Mello...! Ah..."

"I…ngh…I _know_ what I promised…N…Near…" Mello ignored the hand on his shoulder – in fact, he barely noticed it - and continued moving, a tremor running down his spine. "Y…you have no trust in anyone, do you? That's a shame, 'cause if you actually listened to me, you…aah! You'd…know."

Near pushed harder, tilting his head back in pain. White hair clouded his vision, and sweat dripped from the locks and into his eyes. "I...listened, and...trusted...y-you when you said...it wouldn't hurt...at all... Mello, please...please stop it…"

'_Liar, liar, liar...why did...ngh, _liar_!'_

"Tch...d-do you want me to…apologize, or something?"

Mello licked his lips, applying slight pressure as he ran his hand along Near's member; his tongue wandered over the pale neck slowly, occasionally discoloring it with a well-placed nip. "I keep trying…to tell you. It won't hurt if you just fucking… relax…"

'_**Hah...ngh, right..a…ah!...apologize for what? Not my fault he won't...listen…'**_

"How...can I relax when...agh, M...Mello is hur...hurting me?" Glossy, onyx eyes sought out cold, blue ones. "Wh...why do you...h-hate me so...much, Mello?"

Mello attempted to avert his gaze. Every emotion except a stubborn hatred screamed for him to look; he had no choice but to give in. The moment their gazes locked, a small flicker of regret flashed through the blue hues.

"I...I..." He bit his lip. _**'...ah...damn you...Near...**_**damn**_** you.'**_

The dark eyes pleaded innocence and understanding…even through the pain.

"Just..._try_," Mello hissed. "I'm not l...lying."

Defeated, Near lowered his lashes, resting his head against the ground in exhaustion; his chest rose and fell rapidly with his breaths.

"Mel...lo...please, st...stop it..." His lids shrouded his eyes, undoubtedly to restrain himself from crying. "Nngh...it...hurts...and you promised...you pro..._mised_..."

His voice broke mid-word, and he didn't finish; inhaling shakily, his eyes appeared as slits beneath his lashes, failing to fight back tears. Mello forced his gaze away from the pale face.

'…_**tch. The..weak bastard. But I guess I'm the same…If I'm actually…falling for this... shit.'**_

"N-Near…just do it, damn it. I'm not…lying." He pumped his hand faster, his head falling onto Near's trembling shoulder lightly. "Nnh, Christ, I'm not telling you that for my…health…you know…"

Near arched in agony, tears spilling freely from his eyes and running down his cheeks. He didn't appear to care anymore. "Mello, stop...hnn, it doesn't feel good anymore, it...ah, it hurts!" He moved a bloody hand to Mello's chin and pulls it up gently to meet his eyes; ebony locked with cerulean. "Please, st...stop it...aah..."

Mello met his eyes reluctantly, a short pang of remorse joining the other jumble of emotions in his eyes.

'_**Nea...fuck him and his…tch! No…!' **_

"It's t…too late for that..."

He shivered involuntarily, and gasped; his vision faded to white… _**'Near…?'**_ His climax shook him violently, almost unexpectedly. _**'...oh, f-fuck.'**_

"Aagh...n-no, Mello! St...what's..." Though Near clamped one eye shut weakly, he almost glared with the other. "…'ch, you..."

'_**...If he's about to say "you bastard…" …I probably deserve that…'**_

Mello waited a few moments before removing himself from Near and rising slowly, buttoning his pants and sighing softly. "Near..."

There was nothing else he could say; he grabbed a blanket from the bed and tossed it to him, a small, guilty act. He stepped over the pile of items he'd dropped and paused in the doorway on his way out, half-turning, his left hand clutching the frame. He couldn't bear to meet Near's eyes again. "I..." He broke off, biting lip, then shook his head as he closed the door and left. _**'Damn it…'**_

When he reached his door, he couldn't bring himself to open it; he reconciled by leaning against it, his knuckles going white as he gripped his shirt the front of his shirt. '...I-I just…' When he finally brought himself to open his door, the first thing that came into his vision was Matt's PSP, which rested on the table. Mello resisted the urge to chuck it at the wall. "...I'll talk to Matt…later…"

He slumped onto his bed, grabbing a bar of chocolate in the process and popping a piece into his mouth, his stomach twisting in discomfort. "...Near..."

(DN)

Near took the blanket with bloody, trembling hands and pulled it around himself, whimpering slightly and staring at the door.

'_Mello...I hated that. He lied to me...and he _hurt_ me...but…' _

He glanced back at the stains of white and red on the pale blue carpet. He winced and pulled the blanket closer, pulling his knees to his chest and resting his chin on them, sucking the blood away from his fingers.

'_...why do I want him to come back...instead of leaving me?' _

He fell onto his side, staring at the door with dead eyes.

'_I feel...like my body is torn in half...my hands...gods, my HANDS... Mello, you...can come back...'_ He clamped his eyes shut, blockading any more tears. _'Just please...'_

"Don't...hurt me anymore..."

-

Poor Nia-tan! (x'A'x)


	7. Stained

Kaoru!Near is born in this chapter. If you don't understand what I mean by that, you don't have my LiveJournal marked, or you didn't read my profile. xD

This story's pretty much on a hiatus because the Mello I write it with is a lazy bum.

Mello's thoughts are in regular italics again.

-

Chapter 7 - Stained

-

Mello rolled onto his side, his attempts to sleep failing miserably.

"...tch."

Slowly, he slid off of his bed and onto his feet, stretching with a low yawn.

'_Damn, I can't even take a nap.' _

He extended a hand toward the half-eaten bar of chocolate on his dresser.

'_**Finish...it...'**_

His hand jerked back. He furrowed his brows and sighed, eyes straying towards the door. As if on cue, a sharp knock rang through his room. If he'd been in his normal state, Mello would have simply called out his admittance, but this time, took the effort to open the door himself. He was surprised to see Matt standing on the other side; his goggles hid his hazel eyes, but his head was bowed modestly.

"Oh. Hey, Matt." Mello stood aside to let him in. Matt entered slowly, shuffling like a whipped puppy. Shaking his head slightly, Mello closed his door again, moving to lean against his desk. "I was just thinking of coming to see you, actually...what's up?"

Matt's head was still lowered.

"I...wanted to apologize I guess. I...don't know what keeps coming over me." He glanced at the lighter in the palm of his hand, but didn't click it. "Something about watching Near in agony at the same time as the fire dancing...just...changed me." He glanced up to meet Mello's eyes. "Thanks for stopping me. Thinking back, I...feel horrible..."

Mello blinked at the apology, a mild confusion tinting his features.

"...oh." He moved slightly, a faint smile tugging at his lips. "Well, that's what friends are for, I guess... "

Matt dropped his lighter onto Mello's dresser, grunting softly. "S'outta fluid anyway. So don't think I didn't notice that look when you opened the door."

"Poor Matt, guess you're just gonna have to lift another one from the teacher again, aren't you?" Mello smirked and patted his head, climbing onto his bed and letting his legs hang off. "What look? No idea what you-"

"Now, that's enough about me." Matt turned to arch an eyebrow at his older friend. "Spill."

Mello's eyes widened. He knew Matt was no idiot, but was still shocked. Matt's eyes glimmered behind the goggles, and Mello shook his head, defeated.

"I, um...well. Near and I. We...you know..."

'_...can't say rape. Pathetic.'_

"You did...what? Did you beat him up?" Matt raised his goggles so they could rest on his forehead. "Wait. You tried to strangle him last night. Did...you didn't...kill him, did you?"

"What? No! I didn't..." Mello trailed off, moving his gaze to the floor. "I...fuck, Matty, it started out fine. He wanted me to show him all touch wasn't painful, and in the beginning, it was...f-fine. Simple stuff. But then...I got greedy...h-he didn't understand what I was asking, and I kept telling him to relax..." He dug his nails into the bedding. "I raped him, Matt."

Matt's already shaky breathing pattern quickened in his terror.

"You...wait, that's not poss..." He shook his head. "No. No way. Dude, that's...you had _sex_ with him? You _hate_ him. You had ME pinned to a wall to protect him, and I'm your best friend...and now you're telling me you did something _THAT_ cruel?" He blinked, swallowing hard. The cracks in his voice would have been comical if Mello hadn't felt like throwing up. "Are you sure it was rape?"

"Well, usually when someone says no to you and begs you to stop, and you totally ignore it, that qualifies as rape." Snorting, Mello wrinkled his nose, lifting his gaze from the floor to Matt. "I don't understand it. I feel like I'm losing my mind, because of him. I just couldn't stop...I...I let my emotions get the best of me." He laughed, a nervous, hopeless sound. "That's always why I get in trouble, isn't it? No self-control."

"D-Dude, what if he tells someone? You were talking about getting me kicked out, and Near wouldn't tell anyone what I did because that'd make you upset...but if you really did that, then...we're both fucked..."

"I don't...I don't think he'll tell anyone. He's not like that." Frustrated, he flopped onto his back, crossing his arms behind his head and staring blankly at the ceiling. "I tried to get him to relax. But he kept calling me a...a liar. I told him it wouldn't hurt. And it wouldn't have, if he just listened-"

"That," Matt murmured softly, "_is_ a lie."

"I don't know what to do now, Matt," Mello sighed, closing his eyes.

Matt sat on the edge of his bed and gently touching his arm. "It would've hurt him, relaxed or not. We both know that. Does he even know what sex _is_? I mean, obviously he would know _about_ it, but it's not something they teach here beyond the purpose of it. We learn it on our own. And somehow, I've never pictured Near as the kind of kid to masturbate or anything." He broke off to sigh. "Liar, though...that's intense...if he was calling you names, he must not have been thinking clearly. Was he acting like himself?"

"Not really." Mello glanced down at hand, not able to hide the smile crossing his lips. "Then again, he hasn't been acting like himself for the past few days. ...n-neither have I, apparently. I jus...shit!"

He sat up abruptly, making Matt back off with a startled yelp.

"What?!"

"I left my chocolate in there on my way out!"

Matt's gaze flattened, as did his tone. "Chocolate. Because of the two of us, over the past three days, Near's been kidnapped, tortured, almost murdered, and RAPED. And you're worried about CHOCOLATE!?"

"I don't want anyone finding it in there..." Mello sighed, shrugging weakly. "I guess I'm just overreacting. No one goes into our rooms anyway."

"'cept Linda," Matt said with a nod and a nonchalant shrug. "Sometimes."

"...that's _really_ reassuring, Matt," Mello scowled, on edge again. "If Linda finds anything out of place in anyone's rooms, she'll blab it to the whole school! I...have to go in there and get it."

'_But do I really even want to...?'_

Matt seemed to sense his discomfort. He stood up, pointing toward door with a gloved thumb. "Want me to go?"

"I...I don't know." Mello raised a hand to his face, rubbing at his eyes slowly. Of course, _now_ was the time he got tired. Figured. "He might freak out if either of us go in there. I'll go, you stay here."

Matt sat down again, watching. "Alright, if you're sure. If you're not back in ten minutes, I'm coming to get you. Okay?" He paused. "Actually...rushing is a bad idea. Just go. Take your time. 'kay?"

Mello nodded and quickly departed, moving to stand in front of Near's door with a small gulp. Why he was so terrified, he'd no idea. Scowling, pushed open the door. His chocolate was on the floor, unmoved; he leaned down quickly to pick it up, his eyes focused as to block everything else out. "Uh, sorry, Near, just getting my-"

'_Evidence.'_

His own accusatory thought jolted him, and he couldn't help looking around for Near. When the gaze finally reached him, he sank his teeth into his lower lip sharply, concerned despite himself; Near's eyes were squeezed shut over tears that had already left streaks on his pale cheeks. He'd collapsed onto his stomach, and his head was resting on his sleeves. His shirt and pants were stained with bloody handprints, a likely result of him getting dressed without washing up first. His hands were dripping with blood...and so were his lips. He nestled closer to his arms, his body shaking.

"Mel...lo..."

"Near?"

The boy convulsed at the sound of his name, but appeared too tired to move much; he turned his head to look at Mello, and his eyes were dead. His right eye looked blurry. "Why...did you come back?"

"Chocolate," Mello said simply, and the word seemed to satisfy Near. Mello blinked, cocking his head slightly. "Why did you, um...call my name, a second ago?"

Near's stare was blank. "Did I?"

"Yeah."

Mello wasn't much for daydreaming. Near couldn't fool him...was this a mind game? Or no...whose mind was really being played with here?

"Excuse me...didn't mean to disturb you," Near murmured. His lips continued to move, but no more words came out. Mello hesitated at the door, sneaking a glance towards him.

"No bother. I just didn't want to let my chocolate...melt all over your...floor." There was a red and white stain on the pale, blue carpet. Mello shuddered. "...yeah. Do you, uh, need anything?"

Near broke off from his silent chant to lick the blood from his lips. He wrapped himself in hug and didn't answer. Closing his eyes, he shivered. In a weak breath, Mello's name was murmured again, and he began his quiet mantra again.

Mello cast his morals aside, setting his bar on Near's white dresser and moving towards the lost soul on the ground. He knelt next to him and reached out tentatively. "Near...?"

"Mello...?"

Near narrowed his eyes a little as though he were determined; his gaze, however, remained unfocused. There was something wrong with his right eye; it seemed uncentered, and the edge of the grey iris looked...blue. Reluctantly, Near unwrapped himself from the tight position to rub at his blurry eye. Then, he reached out a little, not fully extending his arm; bloody and torn fingers stretched for Mello. The latter stared at the trembling hand, extending his own and lightly touching it. He was more than surprised at the amount of blood covering the pale fingers.

"N-Near..." He wanted to apologize, but years of carefully training his own arrogance and pride prevented it. "You should bandage those."

"They don't hurt, Mello."

"You don't want the wounds getting infected. Then they'll take even longer to heal...what's wrong, Near?"

The younger boy was biting his lip, making no move to rise from his position and merely staring at the two hands, one bloody and pale, one steady and strong. Mello's patience amazed him into speechlessness.

"I...don't want you...to..." He trailed off and gripped his own shoulder more tightly with his free hand.

"...don't what me to what...?"

Mello knew, and swore internally. No matter what kind of sick games he and Matt played on Near, he still seemed to always want Mello around. Still, Mello sighed and moved to sit down on his knees, free hand bracing against the floor. In response, Near pulled himself into a sitting position. His left arm was still wrapped around his shoulders as though he was afraid to let go. "What...did you do to me?"

Mello was certain Near only asked to torture him. He cursed silently again and his gaze traveled to the door.

"You should...lay down, Near," he mumbled. _'Psh, yeah, he'll fall for _that_...'_

"Lay...down?" There was a moment in which large, grey eyes widened slightly as if in fear. It passed quickly, and Near's lids lowered lethargically again. His right eye had lost the abnormal quality. He pulled his left hand from his shoulder to suck on the wounds. "Like last time. Did it feel so good for you that you want to hurt me again? What did you do, Mello?"

"N-no," Mello said. He couldn't help but feel a pang of remorse. "That's not what I meant. I mean you should lay down on your bed. Get comfortable...I'm not going to hurt you..."

Near moved his hand onto the ground to help himself up, but quickly raised the same hand to his mouth again, sucking the blood away. "I...don't think I can..." He sat down again, his legs twisted beneath his body.

"You want some help?" Mello moved to stand up, extending his hand to Near. His mind failed to fall into its normal thought patterns; he simply wanted to...to _what_?

Near hesitated, staring at Mello's offer, and reluctantly moved the hand from his mouth. He accepted Mello's hand and rose unsteadily.

"Thanks..."

Mello pulled him gently to his feet, slowly moving towards his bed. "Sure."

Near sat down and stared up at Mello for a moment before finally laying back against the pillow. Mello took a step backwards, edging toward the door hopefully, the thought of a waiting Matt suddenly strong in his mind.

Near propped himself onto an elbow, still staring. "M-Mello...answer me?"

"About what, Near?"

He knew. Near lowered his lashes, bringing a hand to his lips.

"What did you do to me?"

'_You can't even say it to him, can you? What are you so scared of?' _

"I think I...raped you, Near." Mello cast his eyes downward, suddenly very interested in the carpet's detailing. When Near didn't respond, he finally glanced up, immediately unnerved by the blank look. It was what he normally looked like, so why was this so different? Near ran his tongue over the torn finger in his mouth.

"Elaborate."

He was worse than L...L. The thought of the raven-haired genius made Mello feel a bit stronger.

"I forced you to do something you didn't want to."

"So did Matt."

L vanished from Mello's mind.

"No, that was...different. Rape is when you force someone to do something...sexually, I guess, that they don't want to."

'_Even what Matt did...doesn't compare to this.'_

Near moved his other fingers to his mouth as though he were licking food from his fingertips. "Sex is a form of reproduction," he said mildly.

"...yeah. Pretty much. Same concept. Just without the, uh, "reproduction" part. People do it for pleasure, too."

Near pulled the digits from his mouth and watched the blood run down his fingers.

"So when two males do it instead of a male and a female, only one feels pleasure because it's the natural part of it. Right?" He licked more of the blood away, sighing and staring up inquisitively at Mello. His eyes glistened slightly.

"Not...usually, no. Ninety percent of the time, both end up enjoying it. As long as it's wanted..." He trailed off, biting his lip. "...yeah."

"So I didn't enjoy it because it was forced and I didn't want it." He stared blankly, though Mello caught a glimpse of accusatory anger. He fought the urge to squirm in discomfort. "I think I understand. ...but why wouldn't people want it? If it's supposed to feel good, wouldn't everyone be doing it all the time?"

"...I can't think for everyone, so I don't know. Depends on the situation, I guess." He took the bar of chocolate from the nearby dresser and broke a piece off, sucking it thoughtfully. Near watched intently, still cleaning his fingers.

"What was ours?"

Mello clenched his fists, almost breaking the chocolate bar in half.

"I got carried away."

Near flinched away from the sudden burst of anger, curling his legs closer to his body and lowering his hand, leaving a small streak of blood on his lips and chin.

"Did...you get carried away because you felt good...or...because I didn't?"

"I got greedy and wanted more. It's nothing more, and nothing less, than that."

He was a liar. His eyes glared at nothing in particular, and his grip tightened around the candy bar. Near's gaze traveled to it.

"It's gonna melt all over your hand...you'd think greedy people wouldn't waste what they've got..."

Mello followed his gaze down to the chocolate, snorting faintly. "Mm, I guess..."

He switched the half-melted bar to his other hand and brought the one covered in chocolate to his lips. Near watched Mello's tongue clear the chocolate smudges away. A moment later, he reached up shakily to tug at Mello's wrist. Mello watched the feeble and insistent gesture curiously and stopped resisting, letting Near pull his hand down slowly.

The albino stared at Mello's hand and gently ran his own tongue over the fingers delicately, licking away the chocolate. Mello inhaled sharply, taken back by the tongue against his skin. "Near...what are...?"

'_What's he getting at...? This...hah...that damn...tongue...' _

Near pulled back to look at Mello's hand, then looked down at the one he'd been nursing previously. "It's...weird how _different_ things can taste..."

"...I guess." Mello resisted the urge to pull his hand back, waiting to see Near's next actions. Blood and chocolate...

Near moved his hands up to Mello's sleeve and tugged gently, gazing up insistently. "Mello...sit...please..."

Mello didn't hesitate to obey. He shifted slightly, one leg folded under him and the other hanging off the edge of the bed. "What?"

Near lowered his gaze unsurely. "I...just don't..." He looked away. "...want you to leave."

'_I really need to get out of here...'_

"Okay...not for long, though. I feel bad for what I did, but that doesn't change anything." Mello grinned. "You're still my rival. And I still hate you."

As though the words hurt him, Near began to lick his hand again. Mello's grin faded and a sharp whistle rang through Near's room, making them both flinch.

"_**Attention Wammy House residents." **_

The intercom. Near and Mello met each other's gazes and both rolled their eyes. Everyone at Wammy's with a personality hated Roger's communication devices; he rarely used it, but they all felt like children at a normal school when he did.

"_**Please excuse the interruption, but the orphans from Petersfield have arrived and the staff is currently locating them to their rooms. All students born before the spring of 1990 should please go down to the lobby within the next few hours to check the postings on the board. Several of you have been assigned roommates." **_

"Not unexpected," Near said quietly, though Mello groaned.

"_**The room changes will take effect immediately. Thank you."**_

There was another screech of feedback that made Near wince and Mello clamp his hands over his ears. After a moment, Near climbed off of the bed unsteadily, and Mello's eyes followed him as he reached for the laptop on his desk.

"What are you doing?" Mello asked, curious despite himself. Near met his eyes for a moment, sitting down and opening the computer.

"Homework. I'd assumed you'd be wanting to check the listings."

Mello stood, nodding. "Good point. Um...see you later."

"Good luck."

There was something about the way he said it that made Mello hesitate. Mello glanced at him from his spot in the doorway and took everything in; instead of being entwined in his hair, his right hand was in his mouth. The skin was still badly discolored from the wounds. Mello hoped he'd change his clothes before leaving later; the red was a stark contrast to the white. Before Mello left, he took a last, regretful look at the pink and white stain on Near's carpet.

"Um, Near...about...what we did..." He broke off. Near didn't look at him.

"I won't tell anyone."

Mello nodded slowly, though Near couldn't see. He opened the door.

"Thank you."

He swore he saw Near's gaze flick his way, but he didn't wait. He left the room and pulled the door closed, sighing softly.

"Mello!"

He'd barely shut the door. Matt didn't seem to care; forcefully, he reached down to grab Mello's wrist and drag him down the hall, ignoring the blonde's yelp of surprise.

"Matt, what the hell?!"

"We need to check the postings, like, NOW!"

There was a twinkle of excitement in his hazel eyes. Mello smirked and jerked his hand from Matt's grip. This achieved the desired effect, and Matt stopped to wait.

"Can we go without making idiots of ourselves?"

"Eh, sure, why not?" Matt replied, shrugging. They continued toward the lobby at a leisurely pace, Mello gnawing at his melting chocolate, Matt's hands shoved in his pockets.

"So...how did it go?"

"Fine. His hands are wounded and he's having trouble walking, but other than that, everything's going to be okay, I think. He said he wouldn't tell."

"That's good then," Matt sighed. "I still feel bad."

"Yeah," Mello whispered. "Me too."

It was the shrieking of their friends and classmates that broke them from their conversation. A boy with brown hair and almost-black eyes greeted them with frantic waving.

"MATT!" he screamed.

"WARREN!" Matt screamed back, and Mello snickered. "What's up?"

"We're roomies," Warren grinned. "Hide yer porn."

They both laughed, but Mello frowned at the knowledge that Matt had already been paired with someone else. Matt seemed to sense the discomfort, because he put a hand on the older boy's shoulder gently.

"C'mon dude, you might've gotten lucky and ended up with a room to yourself."

Mello hoped that'd be the case. He glanced up at the list of names and room numbers; his mix of anxiety and excitement reminded him of when he searched for his scores on the same board...always second. He glared at the names.

It comforted him to see that Linda had been paired with another girl...in fact, there only appeared to be a few co-ed roommates, and they were all related. There were fewer girls at Wammy's anyway. Mello trailed a finger down until he found his room number, and inhaled shakily, almost afraid to look at the names. Linda was giggling behind him, and several of the boys who were ranked closer to him and Matt on the intelligence level were having a silent conference; one that he recognized as an excellent soccer player snickered at him.

'_That...can't be good.' _

He followed the line with his finger. Mello was linked to another name, that much was certain. Mello finally gained enough courage to look at it; blue eyes widened, and the wheel in his head stopped turning, so abruptly that the hamster went flying.

"Aw, shit."

-

:P


End file.
